The end of everything
by TrunksIzayaBossKadoDRRRotaku
Summary: The world rejoices...the black prince is dead...but he lives on, in the form of one Kudo Shinichi...who is struggling to not fall into madness with bizarre dreams of killing people he's never met before, pain in his left eye for no discernible reason, life just keeps on getting weirder and weirder for the young detective.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Just a little note to my readers, this is the first version of my story Kaifuku. As you all know, it deals with Kudou Shinichi being the reincarnation of Lelouch vi years ago. Surprisingly, I got most of the story down-pat for what it is today, but it still needed some revision. So after that, this story stayed inert for a while, but then I had a bizarre dream about Suzaku meeting Shinichi and thinking he was familiar in a way, and I made an earlier oneshot about Heiji mistaking Conan for Lelouch, and then I thought over it a bit and realized that they were very much alike, and I can't resist the urge to mix both of these amazing shows together. So, this story is told by Shinichi in the first person, so expect a departure from third person, okay? Anyhow, if this is well-liked and gets lots of reviews, I'll continue. This is the edited version.** _

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><p>Chapter 1: DEATH<p>

"Goodbye, Lelouch." She said simply. No other words needed to be spoken at that moment.

I watched as Kallen walked away from me, looking incredibly depressed. She wouldn't even look at me again, I knew.

I knew it was the end; on the same day that Kallen kissed me and announced her love for me, I knew I couldn't accept her feelings, because then everything I had worked for up until now would be for nothing.

All the lives lost because of my selfishness and burning desire for revenge had cost me dearly, and I did not wish to add Kallen to the list. Euphemia, Shirley, Rolo...and all the others who died because of me would have died in vain if I had accepted her love for me. So, I had no choice but to give her up, even though it was a decision I deeply regretted as the days passed by, towards my ever-looming death.

It was strange how I was not afraid of death like most people. Perhaps it had to do with how many times I had seen death performing his work on the people I cared about most, or because he plagued my nightmares constantly; his dead eyes full of hatred and his cruel smile as he whispered that my time was nigh.

These nightmares were cruel, but one can't help having them when you suffer from a guilty conscience after having conquered the world and all the people in it, and when you have the blood of so many innocents on your hands, even though the blood has long since washed off.

The Zero Requiem had to be fulfilled no matter what, because it was _not_ just my way of atoning for all that I had done wrong, it was the only way the world would move on and become happier. I thought these things as I wandered down the hallway, dressed in my imperial clothes as usual, a somber expression on my face.

Suzaku and C.C were close behind me, both of them watching me with worry evident on their features. Obviously, they had heard the news that Nunnally had regained her sight and confronted me about being Zero and the lives I had taken. That had shocked me to the core.

I had never expected my beloved little sister to suddenly turn against me like that. Surely, she would not have believed Schneizel's lies about me and the geass, and Euphie's incident. But she did, and she stared at me with hatred, a look that did not suit her sweet and loving face.

So, with deep remorse, I walked away from her and imprisoned the Black Knights and Nunnally, rather emotionlessly, I believe. It was only a mask. For the sake of the Zero Requiem, I acted like the liar I was. Or, like the liar I had been all my life. When had I ever told the truth, anyway? The only people I confided in, the only people I ever truly cared about, and who returned that feeling; Euphie, Shirley, Rolo died.

All of them died because of me and my geass. I was cursed. Therefore, in order to help everyone become truly happy:Milly, Nina, Rivalz, Kallen, Suzaku, Nunnally and even C.C...I had to be gone from the world. That was the way it worked; Suzaku agreed, even though I knew he was reluctant to kill one of his oldest and dearest friends. Though I was also his foe, because I had killed the woman he had loved, Euphemia.

However, I admit that I didn't want to die just yet, but...ever since I had killed Euphemia, I'd decided that there needed to be something done in order to atone for that atrocious sin. Now that I was virtually hated by everyone in the world, it was time to let Zero's name be remembered and spoken of with respect, while mine would be spoken only as a curse and with hatred. Just like poor, sweet, Euphie...

While those who loved me would know the truth, the rest of the world never would. I stopped suddenly, and watched the news feed on the television that happened to be playing now. On it was a girl in a wheelchair with an angry expression on her countenance speaking. My eyes widened, and I realized it was my sister, Nunnally. She was speaking from her jail cell, and the one interviewing her...was my old friend and classmate, Milly Ashford.

"Nunnally...er, your Highness, what do you think of his Highness's declaration today?" She began, her eyes filled with pain. It was evident that she was reluctant to speak of me after I had become emperor. She didn't remember that she had once known I was a prince, before my late father had used his geass on her to wipe her memories clean. In her eyes, I was nothing more than a traitor and a despicable person, and understandably so.

Nunnally hesitated a moment. "I...think he was being a little irrational. But big brother has just changed so much...it's almost like I don't know him anymore as a person. Why has he committed so many crimes, Milly? Why did he murder my sister, Euphemia, and why did he kill Shirley?"

Milly's eyes watered briefly, but she seemed to realize she was on live television, and wiped her eyes. She plastered a fake smile on, and said, "I don't know what you mean, Nunnally. That was Zero who killed Princess Euphemia, but she murdered the Japanese for no reason. As for Shirley, I doubt Lelouch would have wanted to _ever_ hurt her. I don't think he had anything at all to do with her death."

I was now watching intently as Milly continued to talk to Nunnally, not even noticing Suzaku behind me until his voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Lelouch...it's only a little while until the Zero Requiem. But, before all that, I need to hear the truth from you. Did you tell me the truth about Euphie and Shirley at Kururugi Shrine?" Suzaku asked seriously, gazing at me intently.

I shook my head sadly. "No..." I whispered.

"Please, tell me the truth, Lelouch. Why did you make Euphie kill the Japanese?" Suzaku asked.

"It...wasn't my fault. I...never intended for her to do that. It was...an accident, Suzaku. Euphemia knew from the start that I was Zero, and she met me on Kamine Island. Then, she got it in her head that she wanted to help me, and she started the SAZ. I thought it was a foolish-if not naïve idea, and went over to meet her. At first, I wanted her to shoot me-so I would become a martyr and the plan would fail," I started, but then my face fell.

"Why did you want to do that?" Suzaku growled.

"However...that all changed when she told me she had given her claim to the throne up for Nunnally's sake. Then, I realized I couldn't resist my sister's pleas any longer, and promised I'd help her. Naturally, she wanted to know about...my geass...and I told her I could make her do anything...I only meant it as a joke...I didn't think it would actually happen. Euphie resisted the order, of course...because killing was such a disgusting idea to her. But then her poor will was shattered, and I tried to stop her, but she was just too damn fast...and then she ordered the massacre. I had no choice but to kill her in order to end her suffering." I finished.

Suzaku's eyes widened as he absorbed this information. "I see...I should've known that you never would have meant something like that. After all, she was your sister. And Shirley?"

"I didn't kill her. Rolo did, because she regained her memories and wanted to help me find Nunnally again. I found her in her final moments, and she told me she loved me. I begged her to live, but my geass just couldn't keep her alive, and she died in my arms," I explained blankly, not even noticing a few tears streaking down my face.

"Oh. I see, Lelouch. I'll see you...in a few hours." He replied, and then he strode off. I smiled grimly at his departing figure. It obviously would be hard for him to reconsider everything he thought he knew about me.

"Goodbye, Lelouch," C.C. replied dully. She hugged and kissed me and strode off. I watched with wide eyes, and then she called over her shoulder, "Do you think we'll meet again? If we do, then you had better bring me pizza again, Lelouch."

I scoffed. I had stopped believing in silly, foolish beliefs like the afterlife long ago. "Whatever, witch."

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><p>The hours flew by, until the time came for me to die. I played my part remarkably well, and stood on my throne, watching the world go by as the people crowded below me, their faces filled with hatred. I heard all their cries of astonishment as they realized that Zero was approaching me. I grinned as I saw Zero-or my former friend, Suzaku- dodge the guards's measly attempts to stop him. I noticed the looks of astonishment on Kallen and Nunnally's faces as Zero jumped high over their heads, and headed toward me. I knew that Kallen was no fool and that she probably was suspecting something was amiss.<p>

"You fool!" I exclaimed, and aimed my gun at him in a futile attempt to stop him, but he knocked it aside and aimed the sword...right at my chest. I grinned, and knew that was what Suzaku intended to do. I knew that the entire world was watching now as the sword went through my chest. The pain that came with it was severe, but I told myself that this...was atonement for all the damage I'd caused to the people of the world-all the people who died because of me, all the families destroyed because of my war on Britannia. That this...was the end.

I found it harder and harder to breathe, though that was to be expected, since there _was _a sword sticking through my chest. I struggled to speak, wheezing as I did so.

"You will...wear that mask...forever," I uttered, knowing that my final moments were drawing near. I dipped my hand in my bloody chest, and then wiped it onto the Zero mask. "You will forever go on...always bearing the geass and the pain of the world..."

Now, I was only being symbolic. It wasn't like I was going to give my geass to him. C.C had the choice to give it to him. I knew that Suzaku was only mortal, like everyone else.

"Lelouch..." 'Zero' whispered, barely audible. It sounded like he was holding back tears.

"It's time for you to be a hero...now, Suzaku," I whispered, the pain hurting even more. My abdomen had gone numb by now, and he pulled the sword out of my chest.

I fell backwards. I no longer had any control over my limbs, so I slid down there like jelly, leaving a trail of blood behind me. I found myself wondering how Euphie and Shirley were doing. Were they both up there watching me, along with Rolo, Clovis, and Mao? Were they...waiting for me? Perhaps...

I fell to the ground, besides Nunnally who looked at me in shock. "Big brother...are you okay?" She asked, her violet eyes filled with terror. My poor sister. It must have been pretty hard for her to bear.

"Now...the time will finally come..."

She grabbed my hand, and then suddenly, she understood. Her eyes widened. "You mean...all this time? Oh, big brother...I love you so much!" She cried, her eyes filled with tears.

"I _know..." _I whispered. My voice was getting fainter. Despite how hard my hands held onto Nunnally's, I knew I was going. My eyes were starting to close. "I destroyed worlds...to create worlds..." I closed my eyes, and then just like that, it was over.

"Don't leave me, Big Brother!" Nunnally screamed, sobbing into my dead body.

I found myself watching her from up in the sky. "So, there's more to death...?"

"BIG BROTHER! NO!"

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><p>I shot up in bed, clutching my covers in a cold sweat. As I regained consciousness, I realized where I was. I was...in my room, as usual. "Oh, so that...was all a dream, huh?" I muttered.<p>

_Why did it feel so real, though? All of those things...it felt like I was really there..._

Sighing, I sat up and pushed my dark hair out of my face. Then, I climbed out of my bed and turned on the light. Instantly, the light filtered through the room. I realized it was still dark outside, and blinked for a few moments. "Oh, man...what time is it?"

I glanced over at the clock, which said: 2:15. I sighed, went to the bathroom, figuring a bit of water would do my mind some good. I splashed my face with water for a few moments and then allowed my gaze to drift to the mirror that was above the sink. I blinked as I looked in, taking in my reflection.

A teenage boy stared back, with messy chestnut-brown hair that hung in his face in messy strands and an untamable cowlick sticking out on the top, and brilliant blue eyes studied me intently. I smiled. Yep, this was regular old me, sixteen-year old Kudo Shinichi, the ace detective who was the savior of the Japanese force.

Yep, I considered myself an ordinary guy...unless you counted the fact that corpses seem to follow me wherever I go. Lately, those dreams had come back to haunt me. I had not experienced them until recently.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Whatever...time for me to get back to sleep."

As I went to sleep, I thought I heard a voice whisper, "You are still alive, my Black King."

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><p>The next morning, I was awoken by a loud sound. To be more specific, it was the kind of sound that excites a detective. Instantly, I awoke. What exactly was going on? It must have been a terrorist who had detonated a bomb and I was the only one who could stop them! Then, I realized what the noise was, as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and scratched my dark brown hair.<p>

"Oi oi, Hakase! Can you keep it down?" I yelled out the window.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm back, my fair readers! This story is going pretty well so far. I believe that I would love to see some reviews on this story pretty soon. I do not own Code Geass or Detective Conan in any way. If I did, I would make sure Euphemia was still alive and that Shinichi would never shrink.**

Chapter 2 Apology

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><p>The big iron gates of the cemetery loomed down at her. The top looked very much like the fangs of a demon. It felt like it was the gateway to hell, in her viewpoint. She didn't really like going to graveyards that much, but she had to, today. She knew that more than anything else, from the moment she had awoken to the moment she had found herself here. There was something she had to do that she hadn't done in a while. Not something, it was <em>someone<em> she had to see. She_ had _to, for Nunnally's sake.

Slowly, she steeled herself and pushed the massive gate open, which slid open with an ominous creak that seemed to resound throughout the quiet cemetery, which would be silent and still for all eternity. It was sort of unnerving being the only living being in a world of corpses. She felt uneasy, somehow. Not that the dead people themselves minded, because they weren't about to complain about the fact that a stranger had entered their domain. She was now knee-deep in shadowland, and she would have to just shut her mouth and endure it to the end. She held some flowers tightly in her hand as she entered.

She came specifically to visit two people, but something inside her made her stop in front of a large white headstone with flowers all over it. It was nicely decorated and quite elaborate. Whoever had carved it obviously had lots of money on them to make a headstone this big-no, wait, this was a mausoleum for the Britannian Imperial Family. _That_ explained things pretty well. It was true that only the nobility, (who were now a thing of the past thanks to the late 99th Emperor's policies against them), would have the money-and the arrogance and vanity-necessary to show off.

That was practically all that they did in their life. Everything they did was mixed with a little hint of arrogance, the slightest clue that they were better than everyone else. They always wanted a bigger house, a better job, shinier cars, even bigger and fancier Knightmare Frames. Even in death, they still wanted to show how "superior" they were to everyone else. She knew this to be true, since she had practically grown up under the wing of Britannian nobles, unfortunately.

As she passed by it, she spotted a white headstone with flowers all over it, a few love letters, and some notes. A pink carnation seemed to be the newest addition, along with a bottle of lipstick and nail polish. Kallen Kouzuki sighed. That meant only one thing: that this was Prince Clovis's grave. She stared at the fancy white headstone for a moment. She had never really felt one way or the other about the young blond prince. During the time he was alive, he had ordered a massacre of the residents of Shinjuku Ghetto just because they were Elevens and they were worthless-and because they had supposedly "seen too much". That made her angry inside.

Clovis had no right to go and kill innocent people over someone as minuscule or insignificant as C.C, the annoying, stupid girl who always demanded that Kallen buy her pizza and insulted her in about every sentence that came out of her mouth. Honestly, did she have any manners or dignity at all? Did it ever occur to her that maybe not everyone was around just to be her servant and do whatever she wanted at any given opportunity? Lelouch, or Zero, had been the one who had killed him with his own two hands. He probably deserved it, she thought. He was an arrogant Britannian snob that felt he was better than everyone else, even when he was merely an over privileged, spoiled rich boy who felt like everything in the world belonged to him.

Kallen noticed another tombstone next to that one. Already, the name that was engraved on the tombstone was starting to disappear and the stone had various cracks on it. There was some graffiti sprayed on the side of it. They were written in Japanese and in English. She leaned over to read some of them.

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><p><em><span>"I am so glad you are dead, you murderous bitch. Hooray for Zero, he killed you and saved our people, while you backed out on your promise for protecting us. I don't believe the rumors that say that Zero blackmailed you into massacring our people. I think you did it of your own free will, you disgusting girl. May you rot forever."<span>_

**"You are a dumb girl, you know that? Did you honestly think that Japan would be won over by your naïve, preachy speeches and your kind nature? If so, then you are even dumber than my mother believes. She didn't believe in your special zone, and so we didn't go. We weren't there, but my obaasan and ojiisan were there and they died there, along with my cousins, my imouto, and my baby brother. All of them died thanks to you. Only my otousan, my okaasan, my oneesan, and my oniisan are alive, as well as me. I am a girl who nearly lost herself after you went and shot everyone down, you hideous person. I hate you so much. If it weren't for you and your murderous tendencies, everyone I loved would still be alive."**

Kallen shook her head in disbelief. Evidently, that grave...could only belong to one person. She stared at the tombstone, and the name engraved on it. "R.I.P. Euphemia li Britannia. The best sister anyone ever had. 2001-2017." She read it slowly, and she shook her head. Cornelia must have set this up, or else Nunnally had.

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><p>Kallen had never really known the young princess that well. There was only a one year difference in age between them, and yet they were so different. She had heard of her, and only thought of Euphemia as a dumb, no-good puppet princess who couldn't do anything. But it seemed that the princess had become aware of that herself, and had tried to change things for the better. According to her former knight, Suzaku Kururugi; who had told her that Euphemia had created the Specially Administrated Zone of Japan for that reason, but thanks to Lelouch's geass, she had become controlled by his power and massacred the very people she wanted to help. Lelouch had ruined everything, he said.<p>

However, Lelouch had told her a different story. According to him, his geassing Euphemia was entirely an accident, and he had only meant that statement as a joke. He had also explained to her that Euphemia was a genuinely kind, caring individual, and as such, had resisted the command to kill the Japanese, because it was such a horrifying idea to her. He also explained that she had done everything for Nunnally, and that he wanted to help her. Kallen had been skeptical...that was until she saw the sad look in his eyes and the tears that were flowing out of them. They were real tears, and she knew then.

He had never meant to kill his sister. He said that she was his first love, after all. Kallen felt a flame of jealousy rise up in her at that time. She wondered now if she'd been wrong to misjudge Euphemia. It was too late for her to get to know her now, because she was dead and gone. "Hi, Euphemia. Nice to meet you. I'm Kallen. Kallen Kouzuki, the girl from the island. I was wrong to hate you for all these years. I suppose...you really weren't that bad of a person. Lelouch told me that he never meant to kill you, and I think. You know what...I think you believed in him to the very end. I did, too, but you know how he is. He pushes us all away, even though we care about him so much. He always wanted to do things on his own, like every man I've met." She tried hard to swallow the lump in her throat and placed a beautiful pink rose on Euphemia's grave, and walked over to another headstone.

In order to do that, she had to go to a different section entirely. The section that was reserved for ordinary Britannian citizens came closer and closer in her field of vision, until she was standing right in front of it.

The next section was made up entirely of the people who had been lost to Zero and the Black Rebellion. Seeing all the rows of gravestones really brought home that what Lelouch had done had required the loss of lots of innocent and good people as well as bad. Euphemia had been just one of the many thousands of innocents lost to his power. There was another person lost to it as well. She knew where to find her grave.

She stopped in front of a set of two tombstones, sitting together. One said, "Joseph Fenette. A loving and devoted father." The second read: _Shirley Fenette, 2000-2018. A beautiful angel who will live on in our hearts. Her mother loves her very much and wishes to see her again in heaven someday."_

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><p>At that second, Kallen literally felt her body shake as she stared at the final resting place of the friend she had never really known very well. "Shirley...how are you? It must suck, being dead and all. At least you're with Lelouch now. I know the two of you must be very happy together in the afterlife. I regret not spending more time with you...maybe your death could have been prevented. I realize something now. You believed...in Lelouch to the very end, just like Princess Euphemia, right? No matter how many times he hurt you, pushed you away, or let you go, you forgave him and kept on loving him. But I failed to be that forgiving, Shirley. I faltered in my trust of him, and because of that, he died and you died."<p>

A few tears slid down her face. She set down a few daffodils on Shirley's grave, and couldn't stare at it any longer. It was just too sad knowing that she would never see one of her dear friends from the Student Council again, thanks to that bastard Rolo. She knew Lelouch must have gone over the edge after Shirley died, and that ultimately was what led to his death and the Zero Requiem. It was too bad that she hadn't figured it out while he was alive, and tried to stop him from doing it.

She walked away from her grave, and headed back over to the royal white headstone, in search of a different one. The one she wanted to see more than any other. There it sat, in front of her. It, too was littered with graffiti; etched with words like "Go to hell, Demon Emperor," or "We hate you. Zero is our hero." Kallen shook her head at their insensitivity. They had never really known Lelouch vi Britannia like she had. Perhaps she had never really known him at all. Maybe only Suzaku and Nunnally really, truly understood him. After all, even though she had only known him as her classmate and a resistance leader, she didn't know what to think of him.

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><p>"If only I hadn't met you, Lelouch. That's sometimes what I tell myself. It's odd, isn't it? How the only time I can truly talk to you without any deceit or lies is when you are dead. At least you're happy now. It's not like I'll ever see you again," She remarked. Suddenly, a strange feeling came over her, like lightning on a hot day. For a second, she felt something. A feeling from deep within her, that Lelouch was still alive. That he was alive...somehow, somewhere far away, and he was living and breathing and happy.<p>

Kallen's eyes widened as she realized something. This feeling...it was almost like a sixth sense. Could he really be alive, even though she had witnessed his death in front of thousands of other people? She shook that feeling off as soon as it came. Feeling utterly creeped out, she stood up. "There's no way you're still alive, Lelouch. That's a silly idea to even ponder. But, I have to wonder. What would you be like now if we met again?"

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><p>Suddenly, my nose tickled as I sat in Agasa-hakase's room, staring at him intently, and then I let out a loud and fierce sneeze. "HACHOOO!"<p>

Rubbing my nose, I blinked for a few moments in confusion. Was I catching a cold or something, or was someone thinking about me just now? If it was anyone, it was probably Ran, or else KID. I wondered briefly how he was doing right now.

"Are you getting sick, Shinichi?" Agasa asked, turning to look at me in interest.

"No, I think someone was thinking about me, that's all." I replied, before turning to stare out the window. My blue eyes peered out the window. _Who would be thinking about me, though? It didn't feel like Ran was thinking about me. My parents? KID? Or...was it someone else? This feeling...it's kind of like...deja vu or something crazy like that._

Suddenly, a few words drifted into my mind.

_"What would you be like now if we met again, Lelouch? Would you be kind and gentle, angry and depressed? Or would you still be the same man I knew?"_

I flinched suddenly. I gazed around in confusion, looking around for the person who had just spoken to me. It was definitely a female voice, that much was certain. However, there was no female in sight. Just Agasa-hakase and I were here. Had I imagined it? For a moment, though...that voice had sounded so familiar..._so_ achingly familiar...almost like I recognized it somehow.

I shook my head in disbelief at these silly notions that were haunting my brain now. "I'm being stupid," I muttered. "There's no way..."

"What are you mumbling to yourself about, Shinichi?" Agasa asked in confusion.

"Nothing." I muttered. My mind drifted again to Ran and whether she would be angry at me when she came over to walk with me to school. More than likely, the answer would be...yes. I knew her very well, and knew that she would be quite impatient with me.

_Don't deny it, detective. You know who that girl is._

**Who the hell are you?**

_No one. Just...your inner conscience. You ought to listen to me a little more._

I raised an eyebrow at the voice that had just arisen in my head just now. It sounded male and arrogant, definitely.

"**What's happening to me?"** I thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:Thank you to the sole reviewer who reviewed this story! I really appreciated it!**

**Chapter 3 Denial**

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><p>"I'm telling you, Ran, it <em>really did happen! <em>This dream of mine felt really real, and it felt like I was there! You've gotta believe me! Ran, for god's sake, why don't you believe me?" I cried at my friend. Unfortunately, she was paying me no mind and was walking ahead of me and tuning me out, not even once listening to a word I said. Who's the girl? Well, she's my childhood friend, Mouri Ran.

Lately, though, it feels like the two of us are growing apart. It feels like she's become so distant from me, and I _hate _the way she's treating me now. I don't know why she's treating me this way. We used to be such close friends and now all of a sudden, she's treating me like I don't matter. Whatever I talk to her about, whatever I say...suddenly, it doesn't matter anymore. Suddenly, I'm nothing but an annoyance to her.

Whenever she sees me, all she does is yell at me or whine about something, and it just...brings me down. I wish I knew why she was so mad at me all the time. Sure, I know sometimes she might be mad at me for stealing cases from her father, but it's not like her dad really does anything worthwhile, anyway. It's not like I'd admit that to her face-so, why? Why on earth does it seem like she hates me so much now? Somehow, that thought makes me sad.

I just wondered why on earth she had been acting so cold lately. Ran and I have been close friends since childhood. I feel like I don't know her anymore. I just wish I knew why she was treating me so bad... I haven't done anything wrong to deserve it, so...

I try again. "Oi, Ran!" I cry again.

Suddenly, my childhood friend whirled around and glared at me with a look of annoyance on her face. "What? Shinichi, what do you want? Honestly, you're bugging me so much today!" She yelled, not even noticing how hurt I looked at those words. I could feel all the hatred from her words coming into me. _Ran, how can you be so cruel? What happened to the kind girl I used to know and love? _

My cheeks heated up as I thought about those words. So, I _did _love her. So, why on earth was she treating me this way? Why wasn't she acting like I mattered? "Ran, I'm trying to tell you something, and you're not listening..." I trailed off.

"I heard you for the thousandth time, Shinichi! I don't want to hear about it anymore, so please just shut up about it! It's like you with Sherlock Holmes! You don't know when to stop yammering on about stuff, so just shut up!" She yelled.

I had never known her to be this critical. Had we really grown apart this much? "R-Ran, I-I..." Suddenly, I felt a feeling that was foreign to me rise up in my chest. I hadn't felt this feeling for a long time, or since I was a child. Tears rose to life in my eyes. Before I realized what I was doing, one of them fell down my cheek, but I immediately wiped it away. "Ran, why are you acting so distant? I don't like this...I just wanted to tell you what's been troubling me...it's just that these dreams, they're disturbing. It feels like I don't know myself anymore. Ran, listen to me."

I commanded sharply, before grabbing her by the shoulders and forcing her to face me. "I'm serious. These dreams...they're disturbing, they're bothering me, and I don't know how to explain them, so I just can't keep them to myself, can I! I have to tell someone! It feels like I'm losing my mind!" I exclaimed.

She stared at me with wide eyes. "Shinichi...I've never known you to be this intense about things before. It's starting to scare me, Shinichi. Seriously, I still can't forgive you for taking my dad's cases-"

"That's a minor issue now." I replied softly.

"Shinichi, are you..._crying?" _Ran asked, staring at me intently.

"N-No, why would I be crying?" I said nervously.

"Well, it looks like there are tears in your eyes." She replied briefly.

My face turned bright red at that moment. "Eheeheehe...maybe you just imagined it." I replied.

"Seriously, Shinichi, are you all right? You're not acting like yourself! You've just been acting so odd lately and it's scaring me! It's not that I don't care about you-I just don't like seeing you act all depressed and scared of this!"

"Exactly, Ran, which is why I want to tell you this stuff."

"Well, Shinichi, you can only say something to someone so many times before they don't want to hear it anymore."

"I know, but..."

"Shinichi, the same thing happens to me, too. I get these horrible dreams that I can't explain, but I try not to let it bother me." She reassured.

"R-Ran..." I stuttered.

"It's okay, Shinichi. Please don't cry. It makes me embarrassed when you cry. You're supposed to be happy and cheerful, not all depressed. I hate seeing you cry..." Ran said.

"Ran, to tell you the truth, I...I really...li-OWWWWWWW!"

* * *

><p>Suddenly, my left eye started burning all of a sudden, like a fiery red hot coal had been dropped into it. I don't know why or how, but it started burning. I didn't know what to think. It seriously felt like I was losing my mind...everything started whirling out of control. I howled in pain as I clutched my left eye and got down on my hands and knees and started clutching at my eye. What the hell was wrong with my eye?<p>

"Shinichi, what's wrong?" Ran asked in concern.

"I don't know...all of a sudden, my left eye just started burning..." I moaned, still in pain from my still throbbing eye.

"What's happening to you?"

"I don't know. It's freaky." I gasped heavily.

_**Relax, Kudo Shinichi. Everything will be fine. **_

_Who the hell are you? _

_**I am...another you, you could say. **_

_That's a load of bull crap! _

_**In a past life, you were-**_

_Shut up! I don't want to hear it! There's no such thing!_

"Shinichi, are you truly okay?" Ran asked in concern, looking on at me in horror. I felt as terrified as she did, to be honest. I had no clue as to what was going on. Little did I know, however, that my answers would be coming soon, and from an unpleasant source.

* * *

><p>Suddenly, I noticed a familiar figure coming toward us with a smug grin on her face. "Hey, Ran! What are you and your husband doing out so early?" She taunted. I sighed upon hearing that voice. I knew the owner of that voice quite well. It was Ran's arrogant friend, Sonoko Suzuki.<p>

She's the epitome of arrogant, from her clothing to her brown hair that was finely combed in the very pinnacle of "fabulosity" as she would call it, and she knew it, too. She thought she was perfect in every way. Yes, she is a rich girl, if you're wondering how she became so snooty. It tends to run in snooty families who are overrun with way too much money for their health. You know the kind; the ones that plaster their houses with every kind of thing imaginable-from plastic horses to swimming pools and bowling alleys. They usually say only one thing: _I'm better than you all, and I want to rub it in your faces!_

How Ran could ever like a shallow, evil girl like this was beyond me, but it's not like I would tell her that out loud, because then there would be a huge foot in my face, and then I would be in the hospital for days. I was not about to get my ass kicked by Ran. Pissing Ran off is the number one thing in life that you never, ever, want to do. Period.

"Sonoko-chan, how are you doing today?" Ran called, but not before whispering to me that everything would be all right. I nodded absently and noticed that the burning pain in my eye only seemed to be getting worse as the minutes passed. I groaned and kept on clutching my eye as it grew worse.

"What's wrong with _him? _Have the mystery novels you've been reading warped your mind so much, detective nerd?" Sonoko taunted, but that was the wrong sort of thing to say to someone who's lying on the ground, hurt.

I resisted the urge to beat her up, and instead grit my teeth. "If I could hit you, I would..." I growled.

"Ohhhh, is the detective nerd mad? Did I touch a nerve-"

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" I screamed, as the pain grew worse. It felt like I'd been thrust into the pits of hell. I started feeling like I was going to throw up, but I held it back.

"Shinichi, are you okay? Is your eye still...?" Ran asked.

"Geez, he doesn't look too good." Sonoko remarked, staring at me worriedly. "Maybe I said too much."

"Yes you did." Ran snapped. "Can't you see he's hurt? Your snide remarks are only making things worse, Sonoko-chan."

Sonoko hung her head, but I knew she wasn't really sorry. She would just start again later.

Then, all of a sudden the pain dissipated. I slowly got to my feet and realized that it was gone. "What the heck just happened?" I cried.

"Shinichi, are you all right?"

I nodded my head fiercely. "Yes, I am."

* * *

><p>I sat, bored out of my mind in school, when suddenly, my cell phone rang. I sighed, and knew it was probably going to be <em>him <em>again. The person who stalked me whenever I was eating at a restaurant about a year ago, and had since decided that he wanted me to chase him around whenever he wore white. Yes, I know Kaitou Kid personally, and he is a royal pain.

"Hello...?" I uttered, going out in the hallway.

"_Hi, meitantei-san! How have you been? Any odd dreams at all recently?" _

I sighed out loud. "Yes...and today, my eye started hurting."

There was an audible silence on the other end, and then Kaito spoke. "_Have you had any nightmares about a man in a mask? They're terrifying...I wonder if we were connected in a past life, Kudo." _

Suddenly, a sudden shiver wracks my body. Why did I feel like I knew him from somewhere, a long time ago?

"_Oi, meitantei-san, you still there?" _

"...I'm fine. I feel like I'm losing it."


	4. Chapter 4 Foreboding

**A/N:I am now updating this story as much as I can. It's interesting to update from the perspective of first person, though it is hard to do. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 Foreboding<strong>

Kuroba Kaito frowned over the other end of the phone as he heard his friend fall into silence on the other end. He knew something was wrong with his friend if he wasn't joking, laughing, or even talking at length about the latest mystery novels he had read, about the latest crimes he had solved, or even about Ran. Something was wrong if he brought up the nightmares he suffered from.

Kaito didn't like seeing his friend all depressed and mopey, that simply didn't fit the description of the boy called Shinichi Kudo that he knew so well. That was why, he decided, as he simply waited for Kudo to say anything at all, that he knew he had to cheer him up, because Shinichi was no fun when he was depressed. It was unlike him to be this silent.

"Hey, Kudo, come on, don't you wanna hear about my latest magic trick?" Kaito joked.

Silence was Shinichi's answer and only the static from the line showed that he was still on the phone and then finally he responded...

"..._What the heck_?"

Kaito blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"..._What are you trying to do to me this time, Kuroba? Bore me to death with more of your cliched magic tricks_?" Kudo sounded vaguely amused this time, which made Kaito happy.

As long as his friend was smiling and wasn't sad, that was enough to make Kaito happy. He hated it when other people were sad. He smirked slightly. "That's good! You're more like the Shinichi I know and love!"

"..._Love, Kuroba? I honestly hope you are joking, you baka, or else I will phone your girlfriend and tell her what you said. I'm sure she'll be very happy." _

Kaito chuckled. "Whatever, meitantei-san. As long as you're happy, I'm happy."

"_Oi, oi, you're creeping me out here, Kuroba. Knock it off_." Kudo sounded annoyed, which was a good thing. As long as he got under the detective's skin, it meant he was paying attention.

"So, what were your dreams about this time? What was so bad about them?" Kaito asked curiously.

"_Well, to be honest, I'm not sure because I don't really remember them that well. All I'm left with is a feeling of terror, sadness, and anger. It's hard to explain. The only thing I really remember...is seeing blood everywhere. In my dreams, there is usually blood on my hands, or blood on the ground. People sometimes die around me. I don't know who they are, but I can only tell that people are dying. That's about all I can remember. By the time I wake up, I don't remember that much_." He said seriously.

"Don't think you're not the only one. Everyone has nightmares. It's not out of the ordinary, Kudo. Maybe this is a sign that you need to take a break from being a murder magnet and actually go on a vacation for once!" Kaito teased.

"..._Barou. If it weren't for me, more people would die! I'm helping stop all of these crimes_." He muttered. He sounded almost hurt.

"Ooh, did I touch a nerve? I'm sorry, Kudo...I didn't know you were still so sensitive!" Kaito taunted.

"_Oi, oi, cut it out with the childish acting, Kuroba. I know you're bothered by this as much as I am-at least stop pretending that you're not affected by my dreams. You don't need to act like a clown the entire time you talk to me, right_?" Shinichi deduced.

"Ah, you've caught me, meitantei-san! Alas, without humor, one cannot survive!" Kaito exclaimed, putting on his best melodramatics for Shinichi's sake. He wanted to hear him laugh.

Kudo merely chuckled a little. That was enough to satisfy Kaito...for now, anyway. _"Anyway, I suppose that's all I have to say for now." _

"What, no new cases? Have the corpses stopped dropping around you?" Kaito joked.

"_Barou. Mata ne." _

The second Kaito hung up the phone, his gaze turned to the wall, where his father's picture hung. "Tousan, do you have anything to say to help Kudo understand himself? Perhaps we never know who we are...you and I. We both wear masks, don't we?"

His father's picture only stared at him. Of course it would, Kaito thought.

"Well, meitantei-san, we all suffer from nightmares, hmm? I wonder whether or not he'll be all right..." Kaito trailed off.

* * *

><p>I sighed as I closed my cell phone and put it away, towards a teacher, who had spotted me on my cell phone. "Kuso..."<p>

"Kudo-san, didn't you know it's against school rules to talk on your phone on the school premises?" My teacher growled.

"But, sensei, I had no choice." I lied through my teeth. She didn't buy it. Gah, how I hated school. I hated all of the subjects because I was practically a genius so I had high grades in everything except music because I can't sing at all. Trust me, every time I have even TRIED to sing, everyone around me screams bloody murder. Pun not intended, I thought as my teacher stared me down.

"I know you are a famous detective, and that many people look up to you. So, why don't you put some effort into your studies and stop chatting on your cell phone before I decide to confiscate it?"

I sighed and brushed a few strands of my brown hair out of my face. "Hai, I know, Sensei, but I just had to..."

_God, if only there would be some murder now, and then I could get out of this. _

Suddenly, my cell phone rang again. My teacher frowned as I opened it.

"Who's that?" She asked warily.

"Hello? Megure-keibu, what's that? You say there's been a murder down near the Beika Cafe? I'll have to let you talk to my teacher, who's standing right here." I said nervously before handing the phone to my teacher.

"What? You want to let my student leave class for the fourth time this week to go out and solve another murder? The answer is no! His grades are slipping a lot because of his frequent absences!"

"Uh, last I checked, my grade was somewhere near a ninety-eight." I said, trying hard to win her over, but she wouldn't listen to a thing I said.

"What? You mean to tell me that he _has to? _None of your police officers are qualified enough to do this, but a high schooler is? Yeah, sure he's brilliant, but he's still only a teenager, and he's still a minor. He can't just skip school like this. It's not good for his future..." She trailed off, still unable to believe that apparently she wasn't winning against a police inspector.

"Come on now! This is ridiculous! He can't just keep on doing this all of the time!" She pleaded. "Fine, I'll let him speak to you again."

She huffed and handed my phone back over to me. "The next time you need to do something like this, don't use your cell phone:use the freaking school phone in the office!" She scolded.

"Hai, hai...I'll probably be gone for a while." I trailed off. "Don't tell them where I went."

"Oh, please, Kudo-san, you're such a local celebrity that someone will probably notice your absence and then word will spread." She said scathingly. I was used to this sort of lecture from teachers who were convinced that what I was doing was "bad" for the school's reputation. Please, at least I'm not a criminal or someone who's dropped out! That would be bad...as much as I hated school, I still had to endure the hell of having it five days a week. At least I was now in my second year of high school. I only had less than two years left and I would be finished!

I turned and started walking down the stairs and then she called after me.

"Kudo-san, please don't sleep in my class as well. I've caught you sleeping three times this week!"

"Okay, geez." I whined as I headed outside. I noticed a few girls casting looks my way and then some of them recognized me.

"Hey, isn't that the high school detective?" One whispered.

"The one who happens to attend this school? Yeah, it is him. What's he doing out of class?" Another whispered.

"Hey, Kudo-sempai, where are you going?" One girl who was obviously a first-year student cried.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm going to go solve a murder!" I said before flashing them the best smirk I could muster. It was the kind that swept girls off their feet, as Sonoko put it.

"Kudo-sempai, you are so cute! Can I have an autograph?" One cooed. Before I knew it, two or three girls passing by started crowding around me until the number increased to around seven.

"Hey, girls! Break it up! You have to be in class at this time!" A teacher cried. The girls reluctantly dispersed, allowing me to finally escape from the crazy fans.

"Thanks, Ojisan." I said before finally going out the door into the sunshine. I flinched all of a sudden. It felt like someone was quite angry right now. I looked up and saw...Ran glaring at me from a window. I flinched. She was angry at the fact that I was "ditching" school, as she put it, to go and solve cases and deprive her father of them, who admittedly, is no good at solving them, anyway.

I smiled slightly as I thought about how thrilling it would be to solve the latest murder.

* * *

><p><strong>It's thrilling when you're not the one killing, isn't it, Kudo Shinichi? <strong>

_What do you want? _

**Nothing at all. I just want to say that your dreams will not go away just because you want them to. You have to remember everything, Kudo Shinichi. The memories of your past life will not stay locked up forever. You must remember them. **

_Barou, past lives don't exist. _

**No, you're mistaken in that assumption. **

* * *

><p>I walked past a few people making out. I grimaced and tried to look away. Then I walked near a building that I'd passed by numerous times and never looked at. I stared at it. It seemed to be a museum of sorts. In the window were some medieval artifacts; a sword, a crown, a shield, and all of those other things you don't usually find in the modern era. The store seemed to be closed right now, so I didn't pay it a second thought and continued walking.<p>

Somehow, I felt an urge to go back and look at it, for some reason I didn't understand. But that was pointless because no one was there in the first place. But curiosity overtook me and before I knew it, I was looking in the window at the same artifacts that I saw before. The sword was a typical ancient one; with a rusted blade, the same thing went for some other things. What caught my eye was a sign that read:

"These are artifacts from Britain when it was called Britannia. As you can see, the swords are of an ancient type used by the Romans. Also, there is writing of an ancient text about the first use of the number zero."

"Zero?" I said in bewilderment. "That number existed back then? That's weird..." I trailed off, but then my eyes scoured over the word again, and somehow a feeling of deja vu came over me as I studied it. "Zero...where have I heard that before?"

It sounded awfully familiar, not just the number itself but the word...to me, it brought back images of a name attached to a person in a mask. What on earth was I thinking? Something was itching to be let out of my brain, and I could not fight it. I frowned as I stared at the sword. I had never seen anyone killed with one before, but I had seen pictures of corpses with slash wounds on them.

I lifted up my shirt and stared at my chest. For some reason, my birthmark looked a lot like a stab wound. I've had my birthmark ever since I was a child. It's pretty big and covers part of my chest down to my stomach in a sort of cross-shaped pattern. It's a dull reddish-brown in color and there's a reddish spot in the center. There's also a bit of a red mark on my back, too. It doesn't hurt if I touch it, but for years I've been wondering how it got there.

_Am I sure I really want to know what it is? _

* * *

><p>"What are you doing at this hour? Shouldn't you be in school?" An elderly voice said to me. I turned and found myself staring at an old man with blue eyes.<p>

"I got the day off." I lied.

"You shouldn't be loitering, that's against the rules."

"You wouldn't happen to be the owner of this store, would you?" I guessed.

"Yep. Why? Are you curious about history?" The old man asked, staring at me intently. His gaze was quite unnerving. "You know...you seem familiar to me somehow...have we met before, young man?"

"No...not that I can remember." I said, before rubbing the back of my neck. Geez, this old guy was intimidating. It felt like he could see right through me. Seriously, this old man creeped me out.

"Hmm...perhaps I was only mistaken." The man whispered.

"I'll be going now." I said nervously, before taking off down the street. "What was with that guy? Is he crazy or something?"

* * *

><p>The man watched the young man run off. "Perhaps I was only mistaken. After all, the man I mistook him for is long since dead. Lelouch vi Britannia is dead. I remember him well from my past life. After all, then I was Taizo Kirihara."<p> 


	5. Chapter 5 Confusion

**A/N:Time to update this wonderful story of mine! For my critics, let me assure you that I will not stop writing because you think my story sucks or my characters are OOC. It's MY interpretation of the characters, so NATURALLY it's going to be different from how the original author interpreted them, so don't go whining to me about what you want changed. It's my story. I write it how I want. Deal with it. I'm just sick of whiners. **

**Chapter 5 Recollections**

* * *

><p>Sometimes, I have deja vu. Everyone has it from time to time, am I right? We all get it sometimes...we meet someone who seems familiar, no matter how illogical it seems. Sometimes, places seem familiar. Well, there's nothing you can do about it. Places just seem to call out to you.<p>

I noticed, however, that that weird store seemed to call out to me the most. Of all the places I've been to, that store with the strange sword and the weird characters on it seemed to call out to me, as well. Why, though? Why was I attracted to it? What...was the meaning behind the name Zero?

A girl with red hair walked past me. My eyes widened. "K-Kallen...?" I asked.

"That's not my name, kid. My name's Yuki. Have you mistaken me for someone else?" The redhead asked.

"Eh, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me then. I though I knew someone with red hair...a long time ago." I remarked sadly.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "_Who _are you, boy?"

"Me? I'm no one of import." I lied.

"You DO seem familiar. Have you been on TV before?" She asked curiously.

"No." I lied again. "Are you sure you haven't mistaken me for somebody else?"

"Yuki!" A boy with brown hair and blue eyes cried. He frowned as he came towards me. "Hey, who is this kid? Did he flirt with you?"

"No, I just mistook her for someone else. I'm sorry." I said, and then I ran off.

"What a weird guy. He called me a boy's name, Yukito-kun." The girl remarked.

"Wow...he DOES sound weird."

_Why did I call her that? I don't know anyone by that name...OR DO I? _

* * *

><p>"You seem troubled, boy." The old man from yesterday said. "Do you want to visit my shop?"<p>

I nodded my head. "Y-Yeah."

When I was inside the shop, the old man walked towards me. He then spoke.

"So...I heard you earlier. You called that girl 'Kallen'. Do you recognize someone by that name?"

"Not really. I don't know what came over me." I replied sheepishly.

"As I thought. So you are _him, aren't you?" _

"What are you talking about?" I stammered nervously.

"Do I seem familiar to you at all, young man?" He asked seriously.

"M-Maybe a little bit."

"So, you are...Lelouch. I suspected as much. Is it really you, my boy?"

"Who's Lelouch?" I asked.

"That's your past self, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry...I should go." I whispered as I made my way to the door.

"Wait, L-"

"I'm not this Lelouch person! My name is Shinichi!" I yelled before running out and slamming the door behind me.

I panicked as I ran down the street. _What was with that old guy, anyway? He was so creepy. I'm glad I got away from him. _

I resisted the urge to shiver. I didn't even look back as I ran. That's when I bumped into someone.

* * *

><p>"Hey, man. What're ya doin' spacin' out?"<p>

That was definitely NOT a Tokyo accent. At the most, it sounded...Osakan.

I turned to see a boy with black hair and green eyes staring at me in curiosity.

"Hey, yah know...yah seem awfully scared of somethin'." He said before putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't touch me." I said softly before getting up and staring him right in the eyes.

"Why not?" The boy asked.

"I'm...a little stressed out," I confessed.

"What's yer name, man?" He asked.

"Me? I'm Kudo. Kudo Shinichi," I responded.

His jaw dropped ten feet. "K-Kudo? As in _the Kudo Shinichi, that high school detective?" _He stammered.

"Yeah. What of it?"

"I come from Osaka. I'm also a detective like you, Kudo. The name's Hattori Heiji. Surely you've heard of me. I hear about you all the time."

"Never heard of you."

His face fell. "_Really? You've never heard of me? I thought ya woulda heard of me." _

"Nope."

"Wow. To think I would meet a celebrity here like you. I'm surprised. I never thought I would encounter Kudou, the detective of the east." He said in astonishment.

"That's my nickname over there, huh?" I said, panting between breaths.

"Yep."

"That's cool." I wheezed.

"Are you all right, Kudo?"

"Just a little...tired. Something happened over there and it freaked me out, so I ran." I panted. If there was one place I was never going to again, it was there. _I wouldn't be surprised if he became one of those known child pedophiles from the way he was being so familiar with me. _

"What, exactly?" He asked again, still staring at me with interested eyes.

"Nothing major, Hattori-san. Now leave me alone." I replied. Suddenly, my eyes lit up as a thought came to my mind. "Hey, speaking of which, why are you here in Tokyo in the first place?"

"A really interesting case caught my attention so I had to leave suddenly. Too bad I didn't tell my whiny friend Kazuha where I was going." Heiji muttered to himself.

"Who is this Kazuha person?" I asked.

"My friend. She and I go way back." He replied.

"Oh, do you two happen to be more than just friends?" I asked maliciously.

Hattori flinched. "What would make you think that, Kudo?" He asked nervously.

"Well...seeing as you spoke about her without an honorific..." I teased.

He hit his forehead. "Nah, we're nothing more than friends. Anyway, I get the feeling you were lying about earlier, Kudo. Wanna tell me what _really _happened? Ya know ya can't fool a detective."

"Yeah. Deja vu and a creepy old guy. Nuff said." I remarked in boredom. "So where is this case of yours? That sounds far more interesting right now."

"Kudo..." Hattori said.

"What?" I said again in irritation.

"Ya know, maybe we should work together on this case. What do you say?"

"I guess so." I replied. "Do you get deja vu, Hattori?"

"Sometimes. Everyone does, Kudo, so it's not like you're the weirdest guy in the world."

I sighed and mopped my brow. "Eh, but it sure feels like it when no one else you know has deja vu."

"That's a normal feelin', Kudo. How is it you can solve cases and yet you can't even figure out your own feelings?" Heiji questioned.

"Oi, oi, are you calling me an idiot or something?"

"No, it's the truth, Kudo. People always say you're real calm. But look at ya now. You're getting all hot and bothered over nothing." Heiji said soothingly.

* * *

><p>"Thanks, Hattori." I said.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6 Nightmares

_A/N:It's time for another chapter of this fanfic. I almost typed show and episodes in place of chapter and fanfic. Heh, heh...I suppose it must be due to watching too many episodes of my new favorite show last night. I needed to update this, anyway. Damn, Digimon Frontier is dark chapter. Prepare for some mental torture..._

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 6 Traumatic Memories<em>

Hattori Heiji was quite an interesting individual in my eyes. It was highly ironic that two high school detectives had met at the same time-and both of us were skipping school, as well. He was polite and kind, but there was also a mischievous undertone to him, which I of course noticed. What kind of detective would I be if I couldn't even notice something as simple as that?

There seemed to be something beneath that, though. Even my sharp mind couldn't pick up on it, and that said something for itself. I wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead and walked ahead of Hattori, intent on ending our conversation now and then, but he followed me.

"Oi, Kudo, where're ya goin'?" He said in surprise.

"To a case. Megure-keibu's expecting me. I can't let him down now, can I?" I replied. I wasn't expecting Hattori to grab me by the arm and pull me around, but he did.

"Kudo, there's somethin' you're not telling me. Don't just wander off and leave me behind when you're clearly troubled by something." He said in concern.

"Let me go, Hattori. I don't like it whenever people touch me without my consent." I warned, feeling very irritated now by the fact that he seemed to not listen to people whenever they wanted him to stop doing things.

* * *

><p>Somehow, as I stared into those green eyes of his, I felt like I had seen someone with that eye color before...someone with dark brown hair and green eyes...a boy pointing a gun at me as he prepared to kill me for something terrible I had done...then a sword went right through my chest.<p>

I was not expecting a sharp burst of pain as my head started to throb angrily against me as these images went flying through my mind. I flinched and clapped a hand to my head in an attempt to end them, but they continued to torment me.

Hattori said something to me, but I was too engulfed in the world of bizarre memories to even hear his voice, or see him. Instead, I saw a boy with green eyes smiling at me, and then he spoke a single word to me that made my thoughts start to swim.

"_Lelouch." _

'Stop it...' I whined in my head, pressing my hands over my ears in a futile attempt to end these nightmarish hallucinations. As if!

* * *

><p>The boy paused and stared at me in confusion. "<em>Lelouch, what's wrong, don't you recognize me? It's me, Lelouch. Snap out of it, Lelouch!" <em>

I froze as I saw he was staring at me with confused eyes. A name swam through my already boggled mind and escaped from my lips. "...S-Su...Suzaku?"

The boy nodded. "_So, you do remember me. Then, why are you trying to escape your past?" _

I flinched. "...Stop it," I whimpered. At that point, I knew I was starting to lose touch with reality.

"..._Lelouch...Lelouch...ou..._KUDOU!"

I couldn't hear Hattori shouting my name over the pounding sensation of my heart as everything went black.

* * *

><p>When I awoke, I was completely engulfed in darkness. I couldn't even see my hands in front of my face if I wanted to. Until I heard a footfall near me. Then another, and another, as they echoed through my mind.<p>

When I looked up, I saw a tall figure towering above me, swathed in black. The figure wore a mask, so I couldn't see his face even if I wanted to at that moment. There seemed to be a menacing vibe emanating from him, so I tried to run, but my feet wouldn't move. They were motionless, no matter what I did I couldn't make them work.

Was I dead or something?

The figure chuckled darkly. It was a low-pitched cackle that sent chills down my spine. "Relax, Kudou Shinichi. Everything will be over shortly and then you will be returned to your pathetic, ordinary life."

I yelled out as he came towards me and lifted my face up to meet his. "L-Let me go...whatever you are! What do you want with me, anyway?"

The masked figure started to laugh then, until it became a full-on maniacal laugh. Was this all a dream, or a fantasy, I asked myself?

"Unfortunately, I'm afraid that this is _reality, Kudou Shinichi. Don't try to hide it. You know who I am, don't you?" _The mask slid open and a single blood red eye stared into my own, a black crane trapped in it trying to break free. I struggled to look away.

"Who are you, and why are you doing this to me?" I howled, but then cried out as the masked figure kicked me hard in the ribs, knocking me to the ground. Everything seemed to hurt horribly in this dream, or nightmare. Just what had happened to Hattori? Why was I being used as a punching bag by this mysterious figure when I had done nothing wrong to deserve such beatings, anyway?

The figure took off the mask to show a decomposing skeleton staring at me with a wicked grin on its face. "Now do you recognize me? Don't try to deny how many crimes you've committed, how many lives you have ended! You know you have blood on your hands...just watch!" The figure said, before he lifted his skeleton hand from his left eye and the bird flew into my eyes as I screamed in pain.

A girl fell to the ground, besmirched completely in blood. There was a confused look in her lilac eyes as she fell down. A single word escaped her lips. "Why, Lelouch?"

"What's going on here? I've never killed anyone before in my life-you're speaking nonsense!"

I realized then, I was holding a gun in my hands. I reached up and felt my face, realizing in horror that my face was now sticky with something. I examined my hands. They were stained with blood. I screamed and tried to wash it off, but the blood remained, until it got all over me.

I started to cry then, out of fear and despair. I had no clue what the hell was going on here, but I didn't like it at all. I wanted this to end as soon as possible. "STOP IT!"

"_What's wrong? Are you that afraid of yourself that you'd rather shove these memories into a dark corner and let them rot than discover who you used to be?" _A malicious voice hissed in my ear.

* * *

><p>"L-Leave me alone! This is nothing but a bad dream!" I cried. Then I fell over. My dark hair got in my face...only it seemed darker than before. I examined it and realized in horror that my hair was not brown, it was jet black. When did it become black?<p>

I was dragged again by that same figure from before, only there was a smirk underneath the mask. Who was it under that mask? "Look in and find the true you." He whispered darkly as he tossed a mirror in front of my confused eyes. Looking in, I got the shock of my life.

The person who stared back was not me. A boy with black hair stared back, wearing all-black. His black-gloved hands were dyed red with blood, and so were his clothes. He had one purple eye, but his left was a demonic red, and it was bleeding.

"That's impossible!" I cried. I tossed the mirror aside and decided it was now or never to wake myself up from this horrid nightmare.

"That won't do, Lelouch. You must embrace who you are. Don't look away from the truth-accept it, my friend, accept it. It is all right. You are a murderer cloaked in the blood of thousands, but that is all right...you will always be a murderer, no matter who you claim to be." The voice hissed.

* * *

><p>I jerked away from the figure, only to realize as I yanked the person's mask off, that the figure who stared back was the same as the boy in the mirror. I had been battling myself. That very fact scared the hell out of me, and I started to cry. The figure started to laugh hysterically at my weakness.<p>

"You have me, you know...you always have me-"

"SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! I WANT TO WAKE UP ALREADY!

The figure started to rot into the same skeleton as before. "_There's no escaping who you are, Lelouch vi Britannia. Prepare to die." _

I watched as the figure raised a sword above its head and then I only saw red.

Nothing but black surrounded me now. I knew I must've lost my mind by now. What was next, a trip to the local mental asylum? I heard a voice enter my ears.

"...ou...ch..."

"Leave me alone," I whimpered. "Stop tormenting me."

"...dou...calm...down..."

"Stop it!" I hissed.

"Kudou, for god's sake, wake up already!"

"Huh?"

My eyes shot open as I realized we were inside a building of some sort. Hattori was standing by me with a look of concern on his face. I immediately started to examine myself. My hair wasn't black anymore...I was me, I was me, I was me...

"Stop spacing out, you're starting to scare me! You started talking to yourself and then I heard you screaming and crying out in your sleep! You passed out, for god's sake! What's going on with you mentally, Kudou?" He said. When I didn't respond, he shook me.

"What?" I snapped darkly, but upon seeing the hurt look on his face, I relented. "Barou, it was only a freaking nightmare, not the end of the world. You didn't have to freak out so much."

"Yeah, but ordinary people don't start having nightmares while they're awake and then pass out due to terror. Tell me everything." He insisted. I sighed.

"No, it was too terrifying. There was blood everywhere, and I was...covered in blood." I said before I shivered. I had never felt so terrified of a dream before in my life. That one had been terrifyingly real. What the hell was happening to me?

This wasn't something that happened to normal people, so just what the hell had happened?

I sat up. "I think I'm going home now. I want to rest." I said.

"But, Kudou..." Hattori protested. I shot him a dirty look, but that wasn't the reason why he paled.

"Your eye...it's...red..."

I froze. "That can't be..." I said skeptically and walked away from him, too lost in my thoughts to even hear him calling after me.

* * *

><p>Heiji sighed. "Wow, Kudou Shinichi sure is one heck of a guy. He seems tormented by something, and what's wrong with his eye? I could've sworn for a second that it was bright red...is he crazy or something?"<p>

He had actually been afraid of the boy when he had looked at him like that. The boy seemed nice enough, but what if Kudou actually was insane?

He shook his head. Kudou wasn't insane, there was something else behind it that was causing him to act so traumatized. But what could it be, though? What would cause a seemingly ordinary teenager to pass out while talking to someone and have a disturbing nightmare?

Nothing seemed ordinary about this the more he looked at it.

* * *

><p>I sighed as I entered my bathroom. I held my head in my hands. "What am I going to do?"<p>

I blinked as I stared at my reflection. My left eye...was bleeding.

The phone rang then and I picked it up. "Hello, yes, who is it? R-Ran? You want to come see me? No, you can't right now...I'm not feeling too good. I sort of passed out and had a nightmare today...yes, I know you're worried about me. But I'm fine, I swear. Oh? Why can't you come over now? I f-feel...s-sick, yeah, that's it! Sick!"

Of course she came over anyway and was horrified to see my bloody red eye. This was why I didn't want her over in the first place, her fault was that she would worry about me too much.

"Shinichi, are you sure you don't need to see the doctor?"

"I...I don't know anymore, Ran. Am I...losing my mind?"


	7. Chapter 7 Confusing what is real

**A/N:Time for the new chapter. I do not own Code Geass or Detective Conan. I love how twisted Shinichi is becoming psychologically, as a result of these nightmares. I will also introduce a phobia Shinichi will have that carries over from his life as Lelouch...I just have to think of it...hmm...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7 <strong>Confusing what is real and what is not

Ran stared at me with worry present in her eyes as she applied the gauze on over my left eye, which hadn't stopped bleeding ever since I had woken up after the fainting spell. I frowned and scratched at it for a moment...

"Shinichi, don't touch your eye! It needs to finish healing!" Ran scolded me gently before she sent a different look my way. "You know, I wish you wouldn't fight all on your own, Shinichi. Why can't you let me help you so you're never alone?"

It almost sounded like she was a different person. I stared at her in confusion. "R-Ran? What's wrong?" I asked, staring at her through my right eye. It was irritating to only be able to see with one eye, but I had no choice now. Ran turned to face me, her blue eyes full of sadness.

"I don't know why, _Lulu, _but I want to be by your side and-"

"Ran, snap out of it!" I cried before shaking her. She seemed to snap out of her dazed spell then, and she smiled at me.

"What did I say just now?" She asked in confusion.

I blinked for a few moments, and then turned to face her. "N-Nothing, Ran. You said absolutely nothing at all."

Ran just smiled then. What was wrong with my friend? "Shinichi, you had a nightmare and passed out. Are you sure you're not insane?" She said in concern.

I looked down at the ground then. "I'm not sure of anything anymore, Ran. Am I honestly...am I honestly losing my mind?"

Ran just looked at me and then she shook her head. "Shinichi, lately you haven't been acting like yourself and it's worrying me greatly. It's not like you to pass out and have violent daymares while awake. Do you think it's due to all the murders you see?"

I shook my head. I didn't know how to explain it to her, but somehow these bizarre and disturbing dreams felt more like..._memories. _The odd thing was that it felt like there was something else or someone else in my body besides me...controlling it, maneuvering it...

"Shinichi?" Ran questioned.

"...Ran, what if I really am losing my mind? This has never happened to me before."

_**Yes, it has. You don't remember anything...but the memories are coming back to you, they WILL come back and you WILL remember the things you so wish to rend to shreds. **_

_Who the hell __**are **__you? Stay out of my mind. _

The voice chuckled deeply. Then an insane laugh tore its way through my mind and suddenly my eye started to burn even more.

"Shinichi, your eye's bleeding even worse than before!" She cried in concern.

"What's happening to me?" I stammered, in complete and utter shock. I had no clue what the hell was going on with me, but whatever was going on with me was utterly terrifying. I had no idea what was happening, but it was scary.

"Shinichi, let's take you to the hospital!"

* * *

><p>I barely remembered the events of that day-probably due to the drugs they put me under while they tried to figure out what was wrong with my eye. Much to my disbelief, they couldn't find anything wrong with it, as the bleeding had already ended by the time the doctors got a good look at it, so it seemed as if it had never bled to begin with.<p>

I was ordered to be more careful with my eye from now on, and instructed not to scratch at the gauze for a few more days until they were sure the bleeding wouldn't recur. Of course, it didn't happen again, and I was glad.

That wasn't the end of my trouble, though. My troubles were just beginning...first, a certain magician showed up at my school, and annoyed the crap out of me, asking if I was all right. Second, Dr. Agasa also seemed to be oddly inquisitive about my nightmares, much to my embarrassment. Seriously, couldn't they leave me alone about this issue?

If they all knew that it troubled me so much, couldn't they just leave me alone about it? I was sick of people looking at me in pity or trying to help me with something I could deal with myself. So I just stopped talking to people about my dreams.

Ran grew concerned about me, but I refused to talk to her about my dreams anymore, and decided to shove them aside and deal with my normal life. I wanted to resume my daily life.

Unfortunately for me, my mind seemed to disagree with that sentiment. The dreams took their toll on me mentally and emotionally...until the day when I finally couldn't take it anymore.

That was also the day I recalled one of my worst memories from my childhood. From an early age, I had been a precocious, if not distant, child. I never really showed that much emotion and always preferred books to interacting with others. The fact that I was also quite intelligent probably didn't sit so well with other children my age.

So when I tried to interact with other kids my age, they just dismissed me or mocked me for trying to interact with inferiors. They mistook my introversion for arrogance and started to bully me a lot in school. Mostly I ignored them, but there was a day when the bullying grew much worse, and that was when I first saw one of these bizarre memories.

_I sat in school, bored as I listened to the teacher lecture us on a subject we'd been through a dozen times before. I flipped through the pages of a mystery book in boredom, my blue eyes scanning over every inch of the text, as if seeking answers for something. _

_"...And the Holocaust was a horrible event in which a large group of people were murdered at once. It was quite a tragic event, children. Can you imagine-women, men, and children around your age, all being lined up and shot in the head? Their screams of pain and the gunshots being fired? It must have been a horrifying scene to witness...someone who witnesses something like that...will never get over the scars and probably relive it in their minds-" _

_'Something about that feels familiar. When I think of...women being shot...I somehow feel like I've seen that before...' _

_My head started to spin then as a sudden burst of pain went through it. 'What's happening?' I asked myself as I raised my hand to my forehead, but when I lowered my hand from my forehead, I blinked as I realized that it was soaked with blood. 'What the hell?' _

_At that moment, I apparently started to get caught up in this vividly real daymare and talk to myself. I passed out then and the kids taunted me afterwards, saying that I was talking in my sleep. It sure didn't feel like a dream to me. _

_Dream: _

_**I frowned as I walked in the mist. I couldn't find anyone-anywhere. My classroom had vanished. Where the heck was I? "Is anyone here?" I called. I heard footsteps behind me and turned in time to see a figure stagger out of the mist, covered in blood. **_

_**He was bleeding from head to toe. "Please...you must help me. She just started killing people...save us, Zero, save us." He extended a bloody arm out to me. **_

_**"Zero? Who the heck is that? That's not me..." I protested in confusion, but the man shook his head. **_

_**"You are Zero." He said, and then he fell dead at my feet. A sudden stench entered my nose as I continued walking. It smelled like rotting meat. My eyes widened as I ran across a grisly scene that could have jumped off the set of a movie. **_

_**People lay dead everywhere...men, women, children...all of them were dead. Some were missing hands, legs...others were still alive, groaning and writhing in pain. Suddenly, some of the corpses rose up and grabbed my legs. **_

_**"It's your fault, you know...you're the one who killed us." **_

_**I stared at them in confusion. "Who the hell are you guys?" **_

_**"We're the ones who believed in you, Zero. Yet you made her kill us. You made her do this. You are a wretched existence." The arms started to pull me down. **_

_**"N-No, you're wrong...you're all wrong...I would never kill anyone..." I trailed off, and then noticed how red my hands were with blood. Blood from the people I had killed...this was all my fault...all of it...was caused by me. **_

_**"That's wrong...that's wrong!" I cried, tears escaping from my eyes. I gazed at all the blood around me and vomited. **_

_When I came to, I was in the nurse's office and she was staring at me with concerned eyes. _

_"The teacher said you were talking to yourself and passed out after vomiting. I think you should go home." _

_I nodded my head reluctantly. The next day, everyone picked on me and called me a schizophrenic freak. Now everyone called me a crazy murderer. _

I sat in my bedroom, slowly unwrapping the gauze from my left eye as I stared into my bedroom mirror. When I unraveled the bandage, I smiled. My eye was just as it should be, blue, not blood-red.

For a second, I saw a flash of crimson, and then it was gone. I heard the phone ring then and checked the number. It was...Kaito again.

"What do you want?" I said in irritation.

"_Are you doing all right, buddy?" _

"No..." I whispered softly. "Help me figure out what's going on."


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N:Time for Kallen's perspective. She and Lelouch will meet in dreams. **_

_**Chapter 8 Confusing what is real, part 2 **_

* * *

><p>I sighed as I sat in my library, reading a thick, leather-bound mystery novel. It was a Sunday afternoon, and I had nowhere to go, so I decided it would be a good idea to kick back and relax...I didn't have any cases on my hands right now, so I might as well enjoy it now, before other things tied me down.<p>

I frowned as I thought about the dreams that still seemed to haunt me. Wherever I went, these stupid dreams seemed to follow. Confusing feelings that seemed to be my own and yet not my own flowed through me. Sometimes, I awoke in a cold sweat; at other times I would be crying for no apparent reason, and sometimes I didn't dream of anything at all.

I couldn't explain these odd feelings at all, no matter how hard I tried. Everyone I talked to about them thought I was losing my mind, or that I needed to relax and enjoy life. Kaito thought that, as did Ran, Hattori, and Agasa.

However, there was one person who would listen to me talk about my dreams without laughing or questioning my mental state, and that was my mother. She was always there for me when I was little, and she would often hold me and comfort me when I awoke from terrifying nightmares.

Most children my age didn't suffer from never-ending nightmares about blood, death, and betrayal. Kaasan always listened to me and put up with my bizarre nightmares, my odd feelings, and my acting like someone else. For a while, I would talk about someone named Suzaku and ask her where he was and how he was coping with my death. I was only three or four, but my precocious nature and mature demeanor obviously worried my mother, who took me to a doctor and had some tests done.

The results were normal. I was told I had an overactive imagination.

I knew that to be a lie. I clearly knew something was wrong with me.

I frowned as I continued reading my book. It was a tale about Holmes, but for some reason, I kept on reading something else in its place.

'Suzaku killed me to bring about world peace.'

_What? I must have hallucinated that being there._

I rubbed my eyes and looked again. Nothing was there except the normal text. Had I been seeing things? Sometimes I had to wonder what my mind was up to, playing these tricks on me like this...it was just annoying being so unsure of things.

The phone rang then, startling me out of my thoughts. The book slid out of my hands and fell to the floor. I cursed and stood up, going into the other room to answer it. "Hello?"

* * *

><p>A familiar voice answered. "S-<em>Shinichi, is that you?" <em>

I frowned as I noticed Ran's voice sounded...shaky and nervous. She sounded afraid. I felt a sudden urge to protect her...she couldn't die on me, not again. What was this feeling? It was almost like a stranger had just projected his thoughts into me. It was a freaky feeling.

"Yes, Ran, what's wrong?" I asked softly.

She sounded a little more relieved before she spoke again. "_Otousan got drunk again and he started yelling at me. I threatened to throw him out and he hit me...can I come over to your place? I'm scared he might hurt me again." _

I could hear her sobs in the background and my eyes widened in concern. I hated it when this happened. Why did her father have to be such a nasty person? Why couldn't he just accept her for who she was? I hated that man with every fiber of my being...my fists tightened until I realized the odd feeling I had just felt.

Hatred? Me, hating another person? Why did I feel this way towards someone I barely even knew? What was with these bizarre feelings of mine?

"S-Sure, you can come over. I'll let you spend the night here."

I heard her cry a little over the line, but she sounded happier.

"_Thank you, Shinichi. I'm glad you're by my side. I think I'm all alone at times. It's good to know there's someone looking out for me." _

The line went dead. I frowned as I put the phone back. Was Ran suicidal? No, the Ran I know isn't like that at all. What was wrong with her?

* * *

><p>The fence buzzed half an hour later, and I sighed as I went down and answered. "Ran, you can come in."<p>

My eyes widened as I saw a bruised and tired-looking Ran come in. Her eyes were puffy from crying and there was a red welt on her cheek that was swollen. Her dad had probably struck her hard. Again, that feeling of hatred bubbled up in me before I stopped it.

Hatred was something below me.

"Ran, is something the matter? You don't look all right." I said as I reached out to touch her, but she smacked my hand away. I was stunned at the coldness she had shown to me. "Ran?"

"Shut up, Shinichi. Just let me lie down for a bit. I need to relax," She said coolly. "I need to hear the silence now."

I stared at her with wide eyes. "Ran, you don't have to be so cold to me. Tell me what's wrong." I said seriously.

"Shinichi, I don't need your pity. Seriously, what do you think you can do, offer me help with your dumb detective novels?"

I was hurt deeply by those words. "Ran, what the hell was that for? You don't have to go and insult me like that. I'm trying to help you, but again you push me away and let all the sufferings fall onto you. Let me help you forget this pain."

She glared at me. "Shinichi, you're an idiot. I don't need your compassion. I only came over here to get a rest. Leave me alone."

My eyes widened. She had never been so cold to me before, and unfortunately, my emotions got the better of me. My eyes watered, and before I could control myself, a tear slipped down my cheek. 'No, not in front of Ran. She's supposed to cry, not me. I can't let myself look pathetic in front of her. She's the one I'm supposed to protect.'

I wiped it away and turned away. I guided her through my door and then went into the bathroom and let the tears fall, being careful not to let any noise come out of it. Why was I crying like this? I usually never cried at all...not even when I saw a sad murder case that ended in tragedy. I thought for sure that I'd sealed up my tears.

'Ran, how could you say those things?'

I blinked as I stared at my reflection in the mirror, and then rubbed my eyes. My left eye was crimson and tears were coming out of it. A crane shone in it. 'Yup, definitely losing my mind.'

I had locked the door for privacy. I heard the knocking on the door and froze.

"Shinichi, open up!" She sounded concerned. I ignored her.

"Don't come in." I said coldly.

She managed to undo the lock and came in. When she saw I was crying, her eyes widened in surprise. The last time she saw me cry was when we were both seven years old. I was the stoic one, not her.

"Shinichi, why are you crying? Please don't cry!" She cried before embracing me in a hug. I blushed deeply upon feeling the touch of the girl I love more than anyone else engulf me in a hug. 'Oi, oi, please let go of me.'

"Ran," I managed, "Please let go of me. I can't breathe."

"Stop crying, Shinichi. Something's not right with you lately...it's not like you to cry."

"No, something's not right with YOU, Ran...it's not like you to be so cold to me," I said seriously before I gently pushed her aside. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's none of your business."

"If he hurt you, it is my business. You're the one person I care about above all else." I said seriously as I looked into her eyes.

She blushed. "Did you just say that?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"Are you in love with me?" She asked.

I blinked. "Eh, no, why would you say that?"

"You just admitted it. You like me more than as a friend." She deduced.

Damn, her sleuthing skills were becoming sharp. It probably comes from being around a detective like me.

"Sort of." I said, rubbing the back of my neck.


	9. Chapter 9 Trapped in my nightmares

**A/N:I'm pretty ticked off right now, so I figured I'd make another dark chapter about Shinichi-being Lelouch is suffering, isn't it? Heh heh heh...more mind-rape. Lelouch is going to be forceful-if Shinichi won't remember him, he'll make him remember. **

**Chapter 9 Trapped in nightmares**

* * *

><p>I frowned as I watched my idiotic reincarnation still trying to pretend that nothing was wrong with him at all-his egotistical attitude really pissed me off. He acted like my existence was nothing more than some fantasy his mind had concocted in order to torture him. But, boy, was he in for a nasty surprise.<p>

I, Lelouch vi Britannia, am getting tired of being ignored and denied by my reincarnation, Kudo Shinichi. It gets tiresome having to traumatize him by making him see nightmares of _me_ looking terrifying-but what else can I do? The kid's a brilliant detective, but he's completely idiotic when it comes to his dreams. He keeps on pushing my existence away.

He is mistaken. I am going to make him remember, and it won't be pleasant by the time I'm through. Right at this very moment, my reincarnation is busy with his friend, who is the reincarnation of my friend, Shirley Fenette. Time to give him a little torture...ah, yes, I must say I do like causing his eye to bleed.

It's rather delightful causing a certain degree of fear in people. After all, I wasn't called the Demon Emperor for nothing. It's rather sad to see my intelligent and cunning mind being put to waste in such a naive, peace-loving brat who knows nothing of how the world works.

I grinned from inside his mind. "Time to have some fun," I said.

* * *

><p>I was busy talking to Ran. Today, the two of us were going shopping. I felt a sudden stab of pain in my head. Frowning, I rubbed my head with my left hand. "I think I have a headache." I muttered.<p>

Ran looked at me in concern. "Are you okay, Shinichi?" She asked. Seeing my dear friend worried over me always makes me feel guilty. I never want to see her worry over me. It's an odd feeling. I don't know where these feelings stem from, but sometimes they're very confusing.

The stab of pain grew worse. It felt like someone was stabbing the inside of my mind, desperate to get out. Instantly, it felt like my head was on fire. "Stop it," I moaned.

I saw a figure in a mask in my mind's eye, smirking evilly at me. "Now you must remember, my idiotic self."

Then my eye absolutely burned-it was worse than anything I'd felt before. I groaned. "Ran, my eye is burning again!"

She stared at me in concern. "Shinichi, what's wrong with you lately? Your behavior changes are scaring me-it's like you're becoming someone else."

I stared at my hand, and realized it was covered in blood. I flinched. Now the damned thing was bleeding again? "Great," I whispered. Then I realized my vision was going blurry. "Oh, crap, not again." I moaned.

"Shinichi!" I heard Ran call my name and then everything went black.

* * *

><p>When I woke, I found myself in complete blackness. I tried to move, but found that I couldn't. My arms and legs were shackled to the ground. "What the hell is going on here?" I cried out in defiance.<p>

A figure with a glowing red eye stepped out of the darkness. Again he was wearing that black mask. "Listen to me. I am tired of you playing these little games with me-denying my existence, denying who you used to be. Now I'm going to make you remember everything." He said coldly.

"Wait, who the hell are you? What the hell are you talking about-make me remember? I'm only me-I can't be anybody else-that's absurd!" I cried. "Let me go."

The figure chuckled and started to laugh insanely. "Oh, I'm just getting started with you, Kudou Shinichi. By the time I'm through, your mind won't be the only thing that's stained red with blood. Haven't you ever wondered why murder follows you everywhere you go?"

I nodded my head. "Why?"

"It's not just that you're meant to solve them, it's because you attract killing-because you enjoy it! Look at it this way-you've killed thousands, if not millions of people before. We killed thousands of people. Remember the lives you ended." He then put a hand to my forehead.

I screamed in pain. "What the heck is going on? I'm not a murderer-I'm not, I'm not-"

The figure slugged me hard in the face. "Shut up and quit your whining. I've had about enough of being ignored, rejected by you-forced to rot away in your mind."

I screamed. "Help me...help me...just let me go!"

"Scream all you want...this is just a dream...which means I have total control here."

Suddenly, he disappeared and my view changed. I was now in the middle of nowhere-suddenly I saw a figure approach me. It was the same girl from before, holding a gun and grinning hysterically at me.

"Oh, so you came back, Lelouch. I was beginning to worry that you wouldn't see me again." She pointed the gun at me. "Remember when you told me to kill them? You told me to kill the Japanese."

Shinichi saw the same girl, struggling and squirming on the ground, crying and pleading to not commit the act and then he saw her run out in front of a crowd of people and shoot someone in cold blood. Then he saw her gunning down men, women, children-everywhere he looked, he saw blood, and there was blood all over him.

"I...did this? But how...that's impossible."

"Think back and remember...you made me do it, Lelouch. Your twisted mind did this all for your own enjoyment."

I remembered. Suddenly, I remembered how I had taken the gun and shot this same girl down and had also expressed remorse over her death. I didn't remember her very well. She seemed to be someone familiar to me. Her name was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't recall it very well.

"...Euphy?" I asked.

She smiled. "Good, you remember. Now die."

She fired and hit me. I screamed at the burning pain. What the hell was I remembering now? 'What the heck is happening here? I'm not anyone else-I'm Kudou Shinichi, a detective who saves people-yet, I...I shot this same girl down...I killed all these people...it all happened because of me.'

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. "What is going on? Stop messing with my mind!"

"It's not, it's the truth, Lelouch!" She insisted, and then she vanished, leaving me all alone, left with the stench of death and the smell of blood all over my hands...all over me.

"Lelouch...? That's not my name." I said.

"Yes, it is your name." Euphemia said before grinning maniacally at me.

"...Euphie, what is going on?" I said.

"Simple. You're remembering your past life-that which you have forgotten."

'But I still think of myself as Shinichi Kudo.' I thought, but decided to play along with this game-if that's what they wanted me to play, I would do it.

She faded away. I was left alone to my thoughts, until I finally heard Ran's voice.

* * *

><p>"Shinichi, wake up...please, Shinichi, wake up!"<p>

My eyes shot open and I sat up. "Ran...are we in the hospital again?" '

"Yes...I was extremely worried about you, Shinichi...I thought you would never wake up..." She said as tears came out of her eyes.

"Ran...I didn't mean to worry you." I said, averting her gaze. 'I hate to see her cry.'

I felt like the worst person in the world, making her cry like that, over my stupid headache.

"Ran...I had a nightmare...no, it was a memory. Ran...I killed someone."

She looked at me like I was crazy. "Shinichi, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I really did...there was this girl, with pink hair...I took a gun and shot her."

"Shinichi, are you sure you're not sick?" She asked worriedly.


	10. Chapter 10 Resolutions

**A/N:Time for the next chapter. Try playing Numb by Linkin park while you read this. It fits wonderfully with how I've written Shinichi's character. **

**Chapter 10 Insanity**

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><p>Ran Mouri cried out upon seeing her best friend collapse in her arms. He had just been acting so odd lately that he was starting to scare her. It was almost like he was becoming a different person. She had immediately called the hospital and they had come to take him in yet again. Her childhood friend had been twitching and talking to himself in his dreams yet again.<p>

'What on earth is wrong with him? It's like he's going into a different world...a world I can't see or access...I want him to stay with me...'

It was at times like this that she felt useless; useless to do anything but cry and worry over her best friend as he scared her half to death with the dreams and his eye bleeding, over and over. He had told her that he loved her, but if he did, why would he worry her so much over this?

Then he woke up. She felt her heart relax a little when she saw the familiar blue eyes of her childhood friend, Shinichi. Not the cold Shinichi or the traumatized Shinichi she had seen so much of lately...she shuddered at the thought and smiled, hiding away her sad feelings like she usually did.

"Shinichi...are you all right?"

"No..." He muttered huskily. He looked extremely worn out, she thought.

* * *

><p>I didn't know what to do anymore. No matter how many times I tried to figure out what was wrong with me, everything would just become more complicated over and over again until I couldn't control anything anymore. I was becoming a stranger to everyone I knew and I couldn't help it.<p>

Ran was starting to feel I was insane. I could tell she did by the way she refused to meet my gaze now. She didn't even want to talk to me anymore because I would bother her with my mental difficulties and my constant nightmares.

"Ran," I whispered. "Look at me, please. Ran, I'm truly sorry-"

She looked away from me, and I knew she was angry with me. Looking at the circumstances, I couldn't blame her. How could any friend deal with a friend like me who kept on scaring them half to death and passing out? Normal people don't just do that. I wasn't normal; I never would be. Normal people didn't have their eyes bleed at random times, normal people didn't pass out or have constant nightmares.

"Shinichi..." She whispered, and I could see a faint trail of a tear going down her cheek. "You're horrible for making me worry like this, Shinichi. Why can't you just stop with all of this? You're making me worry so much."

"I know," I said hoarsely, looking into her eyes, even though she wouldn't look into mine. Was she afraid that my eye would bleed or something if she looked into it? That was ridiculous, but then I soothed myself by telling myself that surely I was mistaken. "Ran...you...hate me, don't you?"

"Hate you...? No, Shinichi, I hate how confused you are now...how warped you're becoming...you're just changing into a different person, Shinichi, and it's scaring me. It's really, truly, scaring me. Please, stop all of this."

"I wish I could, Ran. I really wish I could, but it's not like I can control this if I don't even know what's causing it in the first place." I said, but she wouldn't listen.

"No, you're lying again! Stop lying to me, please!" She cried.

"...Ran, I'm absolutely fine. You need to stop worrying about me so much." I said before smiling gently at her.

"Shinichi...you're a horrible liar. Stop lying to me..." She said.

"Ran, I am fine...I _am._.." I said, but then recoiled as another burst of pain went through my head. Instantly, my hand went up to my forehead. 'It feels like there's someone inside my mind who wants to be let out.'

I was truly insane, I knew that. I was losing it. "Ran...I have a headache again..."

Ran just rolled her eyes and looked away from me. "Shinichi...I'm not going to fall for it...my god, Shinichi...what's wrong with your...?" She looked at me in horror.

"What's wrong, Ran? What's wrong with me?" I said, but she looked away from me.

"Just look at your eye now..." She trailed off. I gasped as soon as I looked in the mirror. My eye wasn't bleeding anymore...instead it was a blood red in color, with a strange insignia in it. What the hell had happened to my eye? I gasped and tried to rub my eye in an attempt to get it away, but then everything started to swim again.

'Calm down...you have to calm down...you're making everything worse.' I said to myself.

'**Everything will get much worse, detective. Just pass out now.' **

I passed out then.

* * *

><p>When I woke, I found myself in nothing but complete pitch-black darkness, all around me. Once again, I was immobile. I couldn't even turn my head. "No, not this again..." I moaned. "Stop it, whoever you are...let me go..."<p>

"I can't do that," The same voice from before said coldly...I heard footsteps and I saw a shadowy figure leaning over me. I could see his blood-red eye and another eye that was...purple?

"Leave me alone, please," I whimpered.

"Listen to me. Stop denying my existence. I can't stand to be in here any longer with a person who keeps on denying my existence. I need you to relax. I can control that thing; I can prevent it from taking over you again. Just close your eyes and relax..." The figure said.

"How can I listen to you when all you do is torture me? You're the one who's put all these thoughts in my mind, you're the one who makes me see things I never did, and thanks to you, everyone now thinks I'm crazy! Just leave me alone!" I screamed.

The voice was silent. "...Perhaps I did go too far." There was a hint of regret in that icy voice. I found myself becoming more intrigued about the voice.

"Who...are you?"

The figure chuckled darkly. "I'm glad you asked. Perhaps now I can finally come out of the shadows of your mind. I am one who was supposed to have passed on, but still lives on, as a ghost, as a phantom of his former self. I am one who is looking for a way to move on. My name is Lelouch."

"Lelouch...?" I said, remembering what the visions in my mind had called me.

The figure took off the mask and stepped into my field of vision, showing me a dark-haired boy with one purple eye and the other red. He only seemed to be around my age, if not a little older. "That's me. I am your past self, Kudo Shinichi."

"Past...self?" I repeated in confusion.

"Let's see...I was supposed to die, but somehow I was reincarnated into you and my mind somehow is still inside you...when I was supposed to disappear altogether. Since then, I have tried to become aware of your existence. I have been trying to get you to remember me, but no matter what I do, you always deny and reject every part of me. Do you have any idea how that feels?" He said softly.

My eyes widened. "So I'm not losing my mind..." I said in awe, unable to believe this was happening.

"No, you're not. You are perfectly sane and rational, just as I am." Lelouch said matter-of-factly. "The dreams you have been suffering from are due to my trying to make you remember who you used to be. I sent you deja-vu...I even had to resort to hurting your eye...my intention was not to scare you...it was to get more info about what was going on."

I looked away from him, both satisified and awed by the sudden presence inside of me. "So there really is another me inside of me."

"Yes, and I am just desperate to have attention. Can you not understand how I feel, dealing with being invisible to your whole world? It's not fun being stuck in your mind-it's boring and unpleasant."

"I'm sorry..." I said, looking away from him.

"It's all right. I'm sorry if I frightened you. You can regain consciousness now. Everything should be fine now."

"Shinichi...!"

* * *

><p>Ran, there she was, crying over me.<p>

_You little fool...I'm not worthy crying over. _

"Shinichi...wake up!"

"R-Ran," I said softly, "I'm fine now. There's nothing wrong with me."

"S-Shinichi, are you sure you're all right?" Ran sniffed again as I sat up and looked at her before smiling gently.

"You are an idiot...Ran...why would you cry over someone as insignificant as me?" I said slowly.

"Baka Shinichi...you matter to me more than anything in the world," She said softly.

"Hey...Ran...a hypothetical question...by any chance, would you ever...consider," I began, but stopped as the door opened and Sonoko rushed in.

"I came to see the idiot. Is he okay?" She said.

"Fancy seeing you here," I said sarcastically.

"Idiot...I came because Ran wanted me to."

'Ha, yeah, right,' I thought sarcastically.

"Shinichi, Sonoko-chan does care about you." Ran said, while laughing slightly at my sarcasm.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:Time for the latest chapter of this story. I hope you all enjoy the story.**

**Chapter 11 Coming to terms**

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><p>I sighed as I held my head in my hands, currently confused with what was happening to me. So, apparently I had someone's voice in my mind? This was something weird and I didn't know how to deal with it. My logical detective mind just couldn't accept these irrational notions.<p>

'_You are not delusional, Kudo Shinichi. You are my reincarnation. It's only natural that you don't know how to deal with your past life right away.' _Lelouch's voice said from my mind-wait, what was I thinking, acting like I wasn't insane when I clearly was? There was no way in hell that this could be real.

_'Of course it is real, you idiot.' _

So, I had to force myself to believe that I wasn't alone in my mind? My logical detective mind resisted that sort of thinking right away, so for now I decided to ignore the voice in my mind, but at the same time, something told me I shouldn't ignore it. I had to listen to it, listen and learn from it. There were things this voice had to teach me, and I had to listen and stop being rebellious.

I blinked then as I came back to my senses. Okay, so now Ran thought I was a complete and total psycho. That was great, totally how I wanted her to think of me. No, the one girl I care about more than any other needed to know the truth; she had to. I couldn't lie to her; I had known her my entire life, and it's not like I could keep a secret from her for long.

I had often thought about what would happen if I had even done such a thing to begin with. Like, what if I had been reverted to the size of a small child?

_'Kudo, those things don't happen,' _Lelouch whispered. He had fallen silent in my mind for the most part, only commenting when he felt like it, which was good by my standards. I didn't mind a quiet mind as much as I did a noisy one.

My cell phone rang all of a sudden. I answered, knowing who it would be.

"R-Ran? Yeah, I am all right now. You really don't need to worry about me, all right? Your dad threw another fit? Well, he sorta needs to learn to respect me for what I do. I mean, I try my best but he doesn't exactly work hard at his cases. Eh, Ran, there's no need for you to come over here and pummel me into the wall. I'm absolutely certain that I'm fine, baarou."

* * *

><p>I hung up then and turned to the side. I needed a good murder to take my mind off of things. Why was it when I least wanted people to talk to me, that they chose that moment to do so and why couldn't murders happen when I wanted them to?<p>

_'You used to kill, before.' _Lelouch stated.

I frowned. "I've never killed anyone in my life, you baka. I'm a detective, for god's sake, not a murderer."

I decided it would be best for me to check up on Agasa, and maybe that would take my mind off things. What should I tell him, oh, hey there doc, I'm doing well except for the fact that I see things before my eyes and I now have a voice talking to me in my head that claims I killed people when I never have? Oh, he'd take that well.

_'Idiot. You have killed-' _

* * *

><p>'Enough,' I thought, tired of arguing with him. I opened my door and stepped outside, locking it and then opening the gate. I shut it behind me and headed over to the Doctor's house, only to hear a huge explosion resound from inside it. I nearly fell over for a moment but managed to catch my balance.<p>

'Here we go again with Hakase's stupid experiments,' I thought to myself. 'What on earth is he trying to do now?' I rang the doorbell, wondering what sort of crazy thing he was trying now.

Agasa was a lovable nutjob. Half of his stuff broke easily and he was prone to blowing up his experiments and messing things up.

I waited. No response. Irritated, I rang the doorbell again. Finally, Agasa opened, covered in soot from head to toe. "Oh, Shinichi, nice to see you. Are you doing better? No more dreams?"

I sighed. Obviously Ran had told him about the dreams. "No, I'm just fine, Hakase. You don't have to worry about me, rather I think it's you we should worry about. What if you kill yourself with these experiments of yours?"

"That's why I have Ai-kun helping me." He said pointedly.

I blinked for a long moment. "Huh?"

"Shinichi-kun, I'd like to introduce you to Ai Haibara-kun," He pointed to where a small blond girl was watching me with a bored look on her face.

Oh, boy, kids. This was going to be _great. _I was good at dealing with children; no, not really. The thing was I couldn't stand them. They probably remind me of how I acted when I was younger, and that's something I wish to forget. But I can't. Sorry, it's not like I could conveniently wind up with amnesia when I wished for it.

"Hello," She said icily. I shuddered then. What was wrong with this girl? Weren't kids supposed to be all happy and friendly?

"I'm Kudo Shinichi, ojousama. Nice to meet you-"

"No need to patronize me, meitantei-san," She said sarcastically.

I gaped. P-patronize? Where did she learn words like that? She talked like she was an adult or something, but that's clearly impossible. It seemed to me that always stuff happened to me that was unbelievable. What is with kids these days?

"Ai-kun, be nice," Agasa chided. "Well, I have to go clean up the experiment. Hang out with her for a bit, Shinichi-kun."

"W-Wait a second, Hakase!" I cried. I sighed as I sat down, away from the creepy kid, who was ignoring me. She was reading a science magazine. "Oi, kid...so how's the weather right now?"

She ignored me.

'Way to start a conversation, Kudo Shinichi. This is probably the first time I've spoken to a girl who has no romantic interest in me besides Sonoko,' I scolded myself mentally. Well, that was fine. I really didn't feel like talking at the moment, either.

I just looked away from her, studying the interesting books on the wall-not really, but more interesting than studying the creepy kid who looked at me too often and acted a bit too much like an adult. No, a creepy adult, to be more precise.

'Isn't that familiar?' Lelouch snarked.

'Be quiet,' I commanded in my mind.

"So, enjoying the silence, Kudo-kun?" She said airily, seeming to enjoy my discomfort.

"Yes," I said icily, preferring to ignore the annoying girl.

"Am I getting on your nerves, meitantei-san?" She said, clearly enjoying every moment of this like the annoying pain in the behind that she was.

I rolled my eyes and looked away.

"I'll take that as a yes. You're the high school detective, Kudo Shinichi who lives across the street, alone, since your parents moved overseas three days ago. You are an arrogant, egotistical idiot who thinks he's always right about everything," She smirked, "Am I right?"

I stared at her in disbelief. Gee, I knew there were people who hated me, but this took it to a new level. "...I'm not arrogant, you baka!"

"Sure you're not," She snarked.

'I hate you, Lelouch. You act so snooty about everything.'

I sighed. "That's wrong, you baarou. That's not how I am at all."

She smirked. "I'm good at reading people."

"Who are you? You're not an ordinary child. You're more than that, aren't you? How'd you know so much about me, huh? You've been researching me for a long time, haven't you?"

"Your mind doesn't miss much, does it?" She remarked. "Your deductive mind is quite scary."

I sighed. "Tell me, who are you?"


	12. Chapter 12 Despair

**A/N:I just love this story too much, I think. **

**Chapter 12 Despair**

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><p>I just looked at Haibara for a moment, lost in my thoughts and she just ignored me, before she replied with a broad smirk and a smile that was more evil than it should have been, "Do you even know <em>who <em>you are, Kudo-kun? From what I heard, you seem to suffer from constant nightmares and dreams. Is that true?"

I froze and glared at her. "Hakase told you that?"

"He's worried about you, you know. Isn't it about time you stopped acting like a spoiled child and just got over these stupid things?" She taunted.

I sighed. What _was _it with women, anyway? Why were they always so hard to understand and get along with? I was always bewildered by why girls liked to throw themselves all over me and declare their love for me when we had never even met in real life outside of my deduction shows and even then they were just hero-worshipping me.

Besides, I already loved only one girl and that was Ran. I wasn't going to love anyone else behind her back because that would be incredibly dishonorable of me to do to the girl I loved.

"For your information, I cannot just get over them; they are the things that are plaguing me every day of my existence! Don't you think I've ever stopped to wish these things didn't happen to me, because I do every single minute of every day!" I cried, but that only made her smirk in victory.

"I see, Mr. Detective," She said. The way she was toying with my emotions was vaguely familiar...it was almost like I had known someone like her before...someone with golden eyes...

"Lelouch," She said sharply. Wait, _what did she just call me? _

I snapped my head up, looking at her with wide eyes. "Why did you call me that? That's not my name."

She smirked at me. "How ironic. I never thought I would find you here, Lelouch-or, Kudo Shinichi, if that's who you go as now. I never suspected that I would wind up living next door to the man responsible for my death."

I blinked in confusion at her, "I have _never _killed anyone before! Ever! I'm a detective who has resolved to never kill a person in my life! What would make me want to kill?"

She smirked broadly. "So says the man who killed me in cold blood."

I looked at her and shook my head. "I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you mean. I'm no one but Kudo Shinichi and I have absolutely no idea what you mean by that."

"Keep telling yourself that, Lelouch." She said flippantly before returning to her magazine and scouring through it randomly like the entire incident had never occurred.

'Lelouch, why the hell do they call me that? That's not me.'

'_How many times do I have to tell you that you're me-'_

_'_Shut up. I don't want to hear it anymore. I'm me and no one else.'

She was still looking through the magazines when Agasa came in, dusty but happy nonetheless.

"Shinichi-kun, you two seem to be hitting it off well. Ai-kun is a distant relative of mine."

I didn't buy the bald-faced lie the first time I heard it. It was obvious there was more to Haibara Ai than met the eye. But who was she really, and why had she called me by that stupid name? That stupid, annoying name that had absolutely nothing to do with me really ticked me off the instant I heard it.

First that stupid old man had called me by that name, and now her, too? What was going on here? Was something going on that I had no knowledge of? If so, why hadn't I been informed of it? I was really getting frustrated with this whole thing.

I was lost mentally and I didn't want people to treat me like I was someone else. Why couldn't they just leave me alone? I lived a normal life; I was solving crimes, pursuing justice for god's sake! I had never killed a person and never would as long as I lived.

'_Think, Kudo, why are you haunted by death everywhere you go?' _

_'_It's just a random coincidence that death attacks me. That's the logical conclusion I have to take."

"_You are such an idiot, Kudo!"_ Lelouch's voice hissed in my mind. '_This means you are being delusional, you are being irrational. These dreams are not just fantasies, they are things that are as real as the things you talk to your girlfriend about.' _

_'_Shut up,' I hissed, 'I have no need for these sorts of things.'

"Shinichi-kun, you all right?" Agasa was looking at me with a sense of curiosity in his face. He was wondering what was wrong with me, I knew it. They were all looking at me like I was crazy, which was wrong. I knew I wasn't crazy, and that was enough for me.

Though, I wondered why they thought of me that way. I decided to head back to my house in order to get things straight in my head. Right now, my mind was _spinning_ with all the things I had learned. What was going on with my mind now?

* * *

><p>The odd thing was that I knew Agasa wouldn't just admit a little girl into his house, no questions asked. It had to have been something serious to allow him to keep her at his house. That girl was no ordinary girl, but who was she exactly? I wasn't one-hundred-percent sure I wanted to know the answers to that question, and yet if I didn't discover the answers, the questions would remain in my mind and never be answered at all.<p>

* * *

><p><em>"So, meitantei-san, you're telling me this bizarre girl just mysteriously showed up and you have no idea who she is or where she's from?"<em> Kaito's voice said over the other end.

"Yes, KID-san, maybe _you_ know something about her. You do sneak around, after all..." I trailed off. "She also called me Lelouch."

_"What?" _

"She just called me that name. What, do you know what it means?"

"..._It can't be, Kudo. That name..._Never mind, meitantei-san, that name meant absolutely nothing."

"You're lying." I said sharply, which caused him to fall silent. Bingo, I had struck a vulnerable point in his reasoning and I was willing to pursue this lead to see what he knew.

"_Meitantei-san, you see, this sort of thing just ties into my dreams. It's sort of pointless." _

"Tell me, please. They're nuts to call me someone else, aren't they?" I said. The line went dead. I froze as I stared at the phone. That was the first time that KID himself, one of the most garrulous phantom thieves imaginable, had hung up on me without a response. Usually, he at least took the time to tell me _why he hung up, but this time no response. _

* * *

><p>He was simply gone. I froze as I stared at the phone in my hands, wondering what I was going to do with myself now. My leads were gone, no one was telling me anything and my head was spinning from all of these irrational yet natural feelings.<p>

* * *

><p>I fell asleep early, hoping that my sleep would be dreamless, but that was asking for too much. Of course, I had a dream.<p>

_I was walking down a long street, which was lined with buildings I didn't recognize, yet the y seemed familiar, somehow. I had no idea where I was, but I was definitely alone. _

_I frowned as I continued down the street. I happened to catch sight of a head of red hair and paused, wondering who that could be. I approached the person, curious, but unfortunately I bumped into them first. _

_"ITAI!" I cried, rubbing my head, which now ached quite a bit, and picked myself up on my feet. The other person looked at me and then our eyes met. I found myself staring into a pair of dark blue eyes and a shock of red hair. _

_"Watch where you're going, you idiot," She snarled. _

_"Wait, I'm sorry. Are you looking for something?" _

_The girl froze. "How did you-" _

_"I'm observant," I said, pulling the girl by my arm. "You want to go settle down and get a cup of coffee?" _

_The girl looked away. "Sorry, but I have somewhere to go. I am sure you're occupied enough that you don't need to ask me out." _

_I blushed. "No, I was just thinking I should do that as a away to apologize for knocking into you like that. It was awfully insensitive of me. I'm sorry." I said slowly. _

_She smiled at me, a little one but it was worthy enough. "I'm Kallen. Kallen Kouzuki." _

_I paused as she went to shake my hand. "Kallen...Kouzuki...isn't that a boy's name?" _

_"Shut up!" She cried, but she was blushing a little. "I'm looking for someone." _

_"You are?" I asked curiously. _

_"Yes, someone I want to find after a long time separated. I believe the person I'm looking for has been reincarnated." _

_I paused to look at the person, but found I couldn't see them up close. They seemed foggy. "Wait, don't go!" I cried. _

_She disappeared, leaving me in a white fog when suddenly a red mark appeared out of nowhere. A black crane that resembled the letter V appeared, superimposed over everything else and then I awoke. _

* * *

><p>I rubbed my head angrily, wondering how on earth I had managed to fall off the bed during my sleep. On top of that, who had that girl been in my dream?<p>

I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, and paused. I saw something...or someone. A figure in a mask was standing behind me. I turned around; no one, of course. My mind was just playing tricks on me.


	13. Chapter 13 Kallen's musings

**A/N:Time for the next chapter. **

**Chapter 13 Kallen's musings**

* * *

><p>Kallen Kouzuki sighed as she washed dishes in the restaurant she was working at. Recently, she had taken up this job as a waitress in order to support herself. She needed the money, after all, but she had a huge commitment to live up to after Lelouch's death and the new Zero had returned.<p>

She scrubbed the dishes vigorously, rubbing her towel against them and allowing the warm water to soak over them and wash them until they were sparkling clean. She eyed her reflection in them for a few moments, studying herself and noticing her hair had grown out some since the Black Prince's death. She had mourned his death for months, yet she was sure that she had not cut it for a while.

'I oughta trim it some,' She thought, 'Lelouch, I wish you were here.' She often found herself wondering what his reincarnation was like, and who he was. 'I wonder what he's like now,' She thought.

She frowned as she found herself thinking of him now. She could picture his black hair, his beautiful purple eyes glittering with respect and determination.

Her employer opened the door then. "Are you doing all right back here, Kouzuki-san?" She said gently, looking at her in concern. She had been lucky enough to find an employer who cared enough about her to let her work here just by being recommended by Ohgi himself, who knew them personally.

"I'm fine...just thinking...about someone I knew in the past," She said nostalgically.

"Hmm...was this someone a lover or someone you knew well? Speaking of which, Zero is meeting with the Viceroy today for something. I wonder what it could be..." She said.

"Zero, huh? No doubt, it's something big. Knowing him, he wouldn't be satisfied unless it was something big and important," Kallen trailed off, thinking only of Lelouch.

"You talk as though you know him personally," Her employer said curiously, "Do you?"

"Of course not. Why would I? Only a few select people even get to meet him," Kallen lied, deflecting the question in a few steps and diverting the subject.

She knew her employer was sharp, but to think she would catch on this fast was surprising to her. She needed to keep a better guard. She wouldn't let her past as a member of the Black Knights hold her back.

No matter what happened, she knew she would find Lelouch. She was destined to find him. She was tied to him, no matter what. It was like they were soulmates.

'Lelouch, what are you like now?'

* * *

><p><em>That night, as she fell asleep, she found herself wandering down the streets of Tokyo. She was bored and couldn't find anyone she recognized.<em>

_"I wonder where I am," She said, walking past a dark-haired girl with blue eyes eagerly talking to her best friend with short brown hair and greenish blue eyes. _

_"So, did you see, Sonoko-chan? Kaitou Kid is back. He's so awesome. Unfortunately, the tantei otaku didn't even care to listen to me talk about him." The girl scoffed. _

_Kallen had to stifle a giggle at that. Relationship troubles, huh? She couldn't help but envy the girl. She had no dead boyfriends; hers was obviously alive and well. She thought about Lelouch, and fought back a few tears that rose to life in her eyes as she did so. _

_As she passed by them, she knocked right into someone. "Hey, watch where you're going, you idiot!" She cried. _

_"Um, I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going-eh, hey, are you all right, Ojousama?" A young voice said. _

_She found herself staring into a pair of radiant blue eyes. Their owner was a teenager a few years younger than her, with messy brown hair that hung in his face messily. He had an apologetic look on his face. He wore a jacket and pants and sneakers. _

_"Try to be more careful," He said gently as he helped her to her feet. She couldn't resist the blush that came to her face. _

_"Excuse me, but I don't need help from someone like you," She cried. Her stomach rumbled then, and she blushed a bit more. _

_"Eh...do you think I could maybe cheer you up with some lunch? I've got money with me," The boy said before smiling gently at her. What a gentleman he was. He seemed like an innocent enough kid, but she should still be wary of him. Looks could be deceiving. _

_"What's your name?" She asked the boy, but the boy didn't respond. He was too busy looking at the signs of stores, trying to see what was open. He acted just like a little kid, she thought, and smiled a little. Lelouch was never this innocent. _

_"Ah, here's one that's open. Come on, let's go...miss Red-head?" He said. _

_"It's Kallen, Kallen Kouzuki, remember it," She hissed like a cat at the boy, who jumped back upon seeing her anger. _

_"That's a boy's name, isn't it?" He pointed out. _

_"Drop the subject," She hissed. _

_"Sorry..." The boy said diminutively before he smiled and took her by the hand. "Come on, let's go." _

_"What's your name, clumsy ditz?" _

_"Oi, oi, it's not a ditz, the name is Ku-" He began, but stopped as he realized they were heading in the wrong direction. "Shimatta, now we missed it." _

_"You stupid or something?" She remarked sarcastically. This boy was a total klutz and not good with people at all, she thought. _

_"Say, I wonder if there's a soccer match on at all tonight. You like sports, Kallen-san?" The boy said excitedly. _

_"Kouzuki. Call me Kouzuki." _

_The boy flashed a strange look at her before covering it up with a normal smile. _

_"So, shall we go eat?" He said gently. _

_"Hold it. You're strange, but first I'd like to know the name of my savior." _

_"I'll tell you later," He whispered, "Cueball...no, wait was it...Red-head Kouzuki-san?" _

_"Leave out the redhead part." _

_"I'm kidding," The boy said light-heartedly. _

_'What a ditz. He's clueless and an idiot, and naive...but somehow warm. He's cute, too, but he's a little too young for me.' _

_As they sat down, the boy said, "Would you like to order first?" _

_Kallen looked at him in surprise. 'I thought he had no tact, but maybe I was wrong._

_"So, what do you do with yourself, Kouzuki-san?" He asked. _

_"I'm a waitress right now, Mr...?" She began, and paused. _

_"Oh...I must've forgotten to tell you my name. It's Kudo. Kudo Shinichi," Shinichi, apparently, said before flashing a warm smile in her direction. _

_"Okay, Shinichi-san," She said before smiling back. 'He doesn't seem so bad now that I think about it.' _

_She ordered sandwiches while the boy ordered sushi and ate quickly, much to her surprise. He had quite the appetite, she noticed. "You seem to eat a lot." _

_"Eh? Do I?" He said. "By the way, Kouzuki-san, do you work out a lot? You seem quite fit, and your arms are awfully buff. Though you try to hide it, you seem conflicted, like a challenged person dealing with a lot of tough burdens on your shoulders...am I right?" He guessed before smirking at her. _

_"You've been reading too many novels," She said sarcastically. _

_"Eh? Sorry...I'm a fan of detective novels. So, let me tell you about the heroic exploits of Sherlock Holmes to stall for time," He said. _

_"Stall?" She said. _

_"There's not much time before something bad is going to happen," He explained ambiguously while smiling in that way that made her heart pound heavily in her chest. _

_Who was this kid? No, seriously, who was he? He acted in such odd ways...he seemed smarter than he let on. _

_"Hey, kid, drop the act. Tell me, who are you?" Kallen said sharply._

_"I'm no one of import," The boy said. _

_At that point, Kallen awoke. _

* * *

><p>Shinichi awoke. "That was a bizarre dream, but what did it all mean?"<p> 


	14. Chapter 14 Kaito

**A/N:I have finally returned from the dead to update two fanfictions today. You heard me, two. Now where's my glass of brain juice? Linkin Park is perfect for stimulating story ideas, especially for this one. Crawling especially fits Shinichi's issues with his identity. He doesn't even know who he is anymore. Nonetheless, as angsty as it may be, I enjoy writing it. My stupid dry skin won't get in the way of me writing, so here goes nothing! By the way, please leave a review. It would be most appreciated. Dedicated to Shinjitsu, a Deviantart user who was a fan of DC who sadly decided to terminate her account for some reason. If she has an account, let me say that I miss you. Please come back to DA. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 14 Identity Questioning<strong>

The next day, I decided to pretend that Haibara hadn't tried to act like an adult toward me. So when I went outside the next day for school, I greeted Hakase like usual, only _she _was standing there like a sentinel, watching me. I jumped slightly, which didn't escape her notice.

'What is it with that girl? She's too creepy to be a regular girl,' I thought to myself as I stood there and pretended to look at my gate, which really needed some polishing. Oh, and Kaasan's garden needed to be weeded out. I don't think it's been done since Kaasan and Tousan left overseas three years ago.

I sighed as I sat down and fiddled with a weed in the grass for a few moments, pretending that I hadn't been staring at the creepiest child in the world. Apparently, she noticed, because I heard light footsteps approaching long before I saw her appear near me, like a ghost.

"You're doing gardening now, Lelouch? How amusing," She chuckled, looking at me with those piercing turquoise eyes of hers. I froze; the last thing I wanted was for her to stare at me with those creepy eyes of hers. She looked like a doll pretending to be a human, and failing miserably at it.

I blinked and then focused my attention back on the plant, which seemed to be quite stubborn. I grunted slightly as I finally managed to yank it up with one huge tug. Dirt landed on a bit of my clothes, but I frowned and wiped my pants off. "Yosh, looks like that dumb weed's gone!" I said to myself, and smiled a false smile.

"Why are you talking to yourself?" She asked.

"N-No reason. Don't you have elementary school to go to or something, gaki?" I said in annoyance. Like I said before, I have always hated kids. Even when I was a kid, I hated being one. I was always treated like I was less than the adults, was never allowed to stay up until two in the morning to watch that awesome Sherlock Holmes movie...I think Otousan said I threw a big fit over that. I don't exactly remember stuff from that way back in my life.

"How amusing you are, Lelouch. Still trying to ward me off, eh? Well, it won't work on me. Perhaps this'll jog your memory: shall we work on the Special Administrative Zone of Japan together?" She said.

"Eh?" I said, staring at her as though she had come from another planet, which was probably the truth. After all, how many young kids were there out there that didn't act anything at all like how children should? Children were supposed to be bouncy, annoying, but most of all, hyperactive with one-track minds.

If this girl had been an ordinary kid, her mind wouldn't have stayed focused on me for so long, but I could tell something was off about her. Who was she, really? "The Special Japan of _what? _Kid, did you get that off a TV show or something?" I said in confusion.

"The Special Administrative Zone. Japanese would be called by their real names there and that's when you made me kill them." She said simply.

"_Right. _Oi, oi, gaki, just leave me alone. I don't want to hear anything else stupid," I remarked pointedly as I stood up and tried to walk past her. She blocked my path.

'Dear god, what else is she going to do, follow Ran and I to school? There goes my popularity. Well, it's not like I'm well-liked at school, anyway. The teachers all think I'm stuck up.' I thought to myself. "Anou...can you please let me pass? I can't be late for school."

"You and I have more important things to discuss than that, Lelouch. Try and remember." She said in that same, eerie annoying voice.

I was starting to lose my patience. "Okay, please leave me alone now. My name is _not _touche, it is _Ku-do Shi-ni-chi." _I spat. I wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead. Why was I sweating?

"You will have to remember, sooner or later. I've been sent to observe you. The organization I worked with sent me on this mission, you see. I can't let you live if I can't do my job right."

I looked at her with skeptical eyes. "This sounds like a bad novel. Just shut up and let me pass-"

"Shinichi, where are you?"

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><p>Ran's voice. Crap. Now she was obviously going to think that I liked the kid, and then all hell would break loose. Time to get out of here fast...I started to move a few feet, the girl followed me again, I moved towards the fence, only to smack my nose off it.<p>

I frowned. Normally, I was aware of when the fence was opening and closing. I had pretty good agility for my age, it wasn't like I was weak and inactive. I rubbed my nose, wincing at the pain.

"Shinichi, there you are! If you don't hurry up, we're going to be late-Shinichi, who is she?"

"She's with me," Hakase said, "Hello, Ran-kun, this is Haibara Ai-kun. She's a long-lost relative of mine who'll be staying with me for a while."

"But you two don't look alike," I quipped.

He froze. "I have a really distant cousin."

"Whatever. Can I say hello to her?" Ran said, giggling slightly. "I see Shinichi must be getting along with her. I never knew you were so good with children, Shinichi."

Time to make a quick escape. Immediately, I looked around. "Uh, Ran, if you don't mind me, I'll be going ahead a bit if that's all right with you."

"Shinichi, wait! Weren't we going to walk to school together?" Ran cried out, but I was already leaving.

* * *

><p>I stopped as I saw I wasn't alone.<p>

"Yo, how's the great meitantei doing?" A new voice cried as confetti fell on my head.

"Ha ha, Mr. Kuroba, your magic tricks are ever-so fascinating," I remarked, pulling a piece off my head.

"Calm down, tantei-san. I was worried when you brought up those dreams, so I figured I'd go and keep an eye on you. Make sure you're all right and entertained and all that jazz." He said.

"Sure, KID-"

"Don't call me that here! Are you nuts?" He cried out. "Any of them could hear and get me arrested.

I smirked. "Sure, I'm sure Nakamori-keibu would love to know who you really are, Mr. Thief."

"Shinichi!" I turned to see Ran running up toward us. She paused as she took in Kaito. "Why is there another Shinichi standing here?"

"My name is Kuroba Kaito. I am a friend of Shinichi's from a while back. We are in fact, cousins!" He said.

I blinked. How come he had never told me this? "You never told me that."

"I didn't know until a while ago," He said vaguely before popping a rose in his hands and distracting Ran with it. "How do you like my flowers? They're not as beautiful as you are, Madame, but-"

"Thank you, but I'm not a flowery person," Ran said, "Come on, Shinichi, let's go to school."

"I'm coming with you too, itoko!" Kaito cried.

"You little..." I growled, annoyed at having my worst adversary take advantage of my suffering. Then again, that was what he did often, and he enjoyed doing such things to me. I frowned as I walked again, noticing that my eye was itching more often than it had been lately. I ignored it.

I reached up and tousled my black hair-wait, black?-I examined my hair again-still brown like usual-so why the hell had I thought it was black? I shook my head. "I'm losing it."

"Shinichi, what's wrong?" Kaito asked, turning stark serious as he looked at me in concern.

"Iie, it's nothing, barou. Don't worry about me so much," I said.

"I have to. We are rivals, after all," He said.

"Rivals? Rivals in what?" Ran asked.

"Rivals in...being related! Yeah, that's it!" I said nervously, rubbing my neck.

"Shinichi, you're lying, aren't you? What are you two really up to?"

"Making sure my cousin is all right," Kaito said sharply, "Any questions?"

He could be intimidating at times and that was a good thing. However, sometimes I had to wonder how reliable was he-he tended to beat me in chess a lot. That thought stopped as soon as it came. I paused for a moment before shrugging and continuing to school.

* * *

><p>Class was as boring as ever, though Kuroba livened it up a lot with his tricks. Needless to say, he got called down to the principal's office at least every hour. This school wasn't used to his prank festival, as Kuroba called it while whining over the extra homework he had been given.<p>

"You should do it quickly, you have a genius mind like my own, Mr. KID." I said.

"Yeah, but I'm better at stealing gems, not stupid stuff like homework."

"This is where you and I differ, Mr. Thief." I said in annoyance.

"Shinichi, stop acting all high-and-mighty." Kaito said in annoyance.

"Whatever," I said.

"Whatever," Kaito said, in the same tone of voice as I had-wait, what?

"Kaito, what are you doing? Cut it out!" I said, waving my hand at him.

He waved his own at me. "Shinichi, what are you doing? Cut it out."

I groaned. "Oi, oi, stop imitating me! It's infantile and annoying!"

"Oi, oi, stop imitating me, Shinichi!" He cried out.

There was only one way to stop this. I sighed as I pulled out a weird souvenir I had picked up with my parents in Hawaii, a fish necklace. I waved it in front of me, and instantly Kaito paled.

"Why do you have something that repulsive here?" He moaned, his face turning green.

"Got it at Hawaii. Wanna wear it on your heists, Mr. Phantom Thief?" I taunted.

He screamed then and threw the necklace off me, trying hard to "destroy" it before Ran nabbed it and threw it back to me, laughing. It seemed, she, too had figured out what we were doing.

Both of us laughed. I remembered that I hadn't laughed in a while after all the hard things I was going through, both as a detective and a terrorist named Zero, wait, what?

I paused then as I passed by a mirror in the school hallway, ignoring the people who bumped into me. Kaito stopped to look at me as I looked at myself. Yep, same old me, but for a moment, I could've sworn I had seen someone else looking back.

'Who are you, really?' The same annoying voice from before questioned.

I sighed. 'This isn't multiple choice. I'm Kudo Shinichi. Who else would I be?'

"Shinichi, we're gonna be late." Kaito said as he grabbed my arm.

"Late? Late for what?"

Kaito grinned. "They're showing Durarara on television tonight! I wanna catch it!"

I sighed. Kaito was an anime nerd. "It's about a bunch of gangsters. It can't be a good show if the detectives aren't the good guys."

Kaito sighed. "Should I call you Dotachin?"

"Whatever," I said. Whenever he tosses in anime references, I feel like turning the other way and running. But I don't. I enjoyed this warm feeling. I knew it wouldn't last forever.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:Time for the next chapter. I still have ideas for this fic. Even if my hands hurt because it's winter, I'll still update! **

**Chapter 15 **Mysterious happenings

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><p>Well, guess what happened to me today? Ran decided that today should be a day for me to "relax" and go out shopping with her for clothes! That makes me want to gouge out my eyes. I couldn't stand girls and their "fun" idea of shopping was, to me, torture. I would never understand why girls found shopping fun.<p>

That's simple to me, I'm a guy, but shopping for me is only fun when it involves buying some detective manga for me to read or something, never anything along the lines of the girly things girls like to buy like clothes, dresses, and all of that crap.

So I suppose perhaps Ran was doing this for my own good in a way; I had been worrying her practically to death over my problems, but in another way, I think maybe she was taking her worry a bit too far. She decided to invite Sonoko along _again, _despite the fact that the two of us do not get along at all. Why she thought we would magically get along again, is beyond my realm of thought, as I am not privy to Ran's innermost thoughts and dreams.

How I would like to be, though...so I could see whether or not she actually notices how I feel about her. So I walked onto the bus with Ran and sat there talking to her for a bit. She seemed to notice my discomfort, but she didn't say anything at all, rather she kept on talking to me until the bus doors opened and a familiar nemesis walked on.

Sonoko Suzuki. The two of us hadn't gotten along the day we had first lain eyes on the other, and I doubted it would ever become better between us. Sonoko always thought I was a bad example for Ran and that she could do "better"-what that meant, I had no idea. She always seemed quite shallow to me, but somehow she was Ran's best friend.

"Oh, if it isn't the annoying detective who's been getting attention by pretending that his eye bleeds?" She snarked upon seeing me.

I glared at her. "Shut up."

Ran nudged me hard before she flashed a happy stare in Sonoko's directions, pretending that I hadn't said those words to begin with. "Sorry about him, he's just mopey today. The other day, I saw him hanging out with Dr. Agasa's distant relative, Haibara Ai-chan. Apparently, her parents left her with Dr. Agasa, so he was getting along really well with her."

"Ooh, I didn't know you were the kid-friendly type, detective nerd!" Sonoko said sarcastically.

"_Shut up," _I hissed, thoroughly annoyed at the fact that Sonoko almost always saw every time I talked as a chance to make fun of me. Was she born this stupid? I don't know but she certainly qualified for it. "Besides, I wasn't enjoying my time with that creepy little brat, she-"

"_Shinichi, _don't you call her creepy, she was just a sweet, innocent little kid!"

'Sure, that's the side she wants you to see,' I thought darkly, looking away from Ran. It was infuriating at times how she somehow had the ability to mishear or completely get the wrong meaning of what I was trying to tell her.

"She was just the cutest little girl. She told me how nice Shinichi is, though she told me he seems to not have warmed up to her yet and she's curious as to why."

'Why? Oh, because she's _totally _being a cute little kid when she calls me by another name and acts like a creepy stalker. Geez, Ran, your cluelessness can be terrible at times.' I thought to myself.

"Shinichi, what are you making those sorts of faces for?" Ran said accusingly, looking at me in anger. Evidently, I had been caught in the act again. Next time, I was totally going to sit as far away from them as I possibly could, just for preservation's sake.

"So, where are we going shopping?" Sonoko asked eagerly, clearly excited to go shopping and go participate in a feeding frenzy of sharks-no, shoppers who devoured everything in their reach and always had huge appetites for anything that was on 'sale.'

"Who cares?" I said before rolling my eyes and reclining back in my bus seat with my hands against my neck, my gaze drifting out to the rest of the world in the bus. They were all looking at other things, like themselves, their phones and other assorted things.

"Ne, ne, Genta-kun, did you see the latest Yaiba movie? We're going to go and see it together!"

Oh, _no, _children, again. I glanced over briefly and saw a brown-haired girl with blue eyes, a fat kid whose head looked like a torpedo and a skinny boy with freckles sitting excitedly in the very back of the bus, happily discussing things at the top of their voices while everyone else around pretended not to notice.

Their parents were right near them, talking in high voices to them. I flinched, wondering if my own mother had done that with me. 'I hope she wasn't so obnoxious. Oi, oi, that'd be embarrassing. At least she isn't here now to humiliate me in situations like-'

At that moment, Ran happened to notice the little kids. "Shinichi, you seem to be good with little kids, so why don't you go over there and sit next to the little kids and make friends with them?"

Oh, _god no. _What possessed her to do something this maddening now? I hated kids, how many times did I have to get it through her thick skull before she got the point?

"Oi, oi, Ran, I don't like kids, what do you think you're doing, barou?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Bakanichi, what do you think you're doing? Here I am, trying to get your mind off these silly dreams of yours, and now you tell me you hate kids!"

Uh-oh, Ran rage was boiling. I had to be careful now where I trodded. She was not afraid of hitting me and had done so before in the past.

"Um, Ran...maybe you want to stop saying things like that?"

"Oh, look at him! He's losing his nerve!" Sonoko taunted.

I felt quite steamed at that point, but put my head in my hands. "Ran, if you're so fond of those kids, go over there and babysit. I don't want any reminders of being young again." I sighed before reaching in my pocket and pulling out my Holmes novel and continuing where I had left off.

* * *

><p>I heard her get up and stomp off, evidently quite irritated with my refusal to play babysitter. A few moments later, I heard her introducing herself to the little brats, and then they started to talk to her incessantly, which drove me nuts. Sonoko just smirked upon seeing my dissatisfaction like the demon she is.<p>

All in all, I pretended they didn't exist. Which was hard, considering their racket could be heard all the way from the front of the freaking bus. I sighed and buried myself into the world of the Sherlock Holmes books, where everything turned out okay, where there was always an adventure lurking around every corner.

It was true that there was some adventure lurking in my life. But most of it was tedious and boring, where was the sense of adventure, some sort of fun crime that would be interesting to solve and result in me seeing the world in a different way?

Perhaps my dreams made things a little more interesting in some ways, but in others they just became a thorn in the side. I mean, who wanted to have nightmares every night about visions from another life?

Wait, another life? I paused as I noticed we were at our destination. I sighed and followed Sonoko and Ran out the door, who was waving goodbye to her little friends. They were all looking quite sad to be without their "Onee-san," and she without them.

I just remained stoic, just relieved to be away from whiny children. As I wandered down the mall with Ran and Sonoko, I heard a small voice whisper in my mind: "Do you remember when you met someone at a mall? A person with orange hair?"

I blinked and looked around, puzzled to find no one there. I shrugged, thinking of it as nothing more than an illusion when a person passed by me. It was Hattori. Our eyes met and for a moment I registered concern in his gaze, and then he turned and walked away.

I wasn't surprised that Hattori was keeping his distance from me. Not only were we rivals, he had also assumed I was a little nutso due to screaming and having nightmares after falling unconscious. Who could blame him? Even I wondered if I was sane at times.

"Shinichi, what are you doing?" Ran said to me.

I turned to see Ran and Sonoko, both looking very vexed with me.

"We're going to go shopping, so you just wait for us out here, okay?"

* * *

><p>I sighed and continued reading my book. This seemed like it was going to be another uneventful, peaceful yet tedious day. Just what I needed.<p>

"Excuse me, are you busy, onii-chan?"

I looked up lazily and found the same girl from before looking at me.

"No, why?" I drawled.

Her eyes widened. "You're Kudo-"

"Shush! The last thing I want is for people to hear my name!" I hissed.

Suddenly, the two boys came out of nowhere.

"Hey, it's that kid on TV! Look, Mitsuhiko, it's Kudo-sama! We are admirers of you." He said before bowing at my feet.

I sighed. "Whatever. I'm not interested in playing with little kids right now, so scram," I cursed, but this obviously was wrong.

The little girl looked like she was going to cry.

"Ah, if it isn't Kudo-kun," A new voice said.

I turned to see Haibara. "Not you again," I said.

"These are my friends," She said.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:Linkin Park fits perfectly with this fanfic. Play Papercut by Linkin Park while listening to this-it'll make you feel interested! I update this when I feel mad or afraid...**

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><p><strong>Chapter 16 A face that holds me inside<strong>

This boy...Kudo Shinichi, is quite entertaining for me. It's true that there's not much I can do now, as a spirit...or whatever you would call me now...but the least I can do is make my stay in it worth it...and maybe even garner a few laughs out of the whole thing.

Before, I used to _love_ hearing him scream, but perhaps my human tendencies have overtaken me and replaced them with kind emotions. Though I was nowhere near a decent human being (ask any human being in my world who didn't know of my conniving of pretending to be a bad guy and they'll say I didn't deserve to exist.) Though, he's quite amusing right now.

He's the polar opposite of me-he hates killing, is opposed to war and that in itself is quite amusing. He honestly believes you should never kill under any circumstances. I'm determined to make him see reality, instead of living in this little fantasy world he seems to have entombed himself in.

It's sad, really. Here I am-the prince who used to be able to make anyone obey me-and the stupid boy here refuses to obey me in any way. Though he's part of me as much as I'm a part of him, no matter what the stupid kid thinks, I'm here to stay. At least, that's what I'd like to believe, but the stupid kid makes it so hard for me to exist.

Denying my existence is so infuriatingly stupid that I honestly didn't think he was capable of such stupidity. But he keeps on pretending I don't exist, and there's only so much of that a guy can take before he explodes. So maybe I've lost my temper with him a few times...but don't think now that he didn't deserve what he got, because he did. He likes to ignore my existence.

There's nothing more annoying than living in the body of someone who won't believe you exist. Try living my situation, see how you'd like it if you can't reason with someone who co-exists with you in your mind. It'd probably make you half-crazy like me. Can you blame me, though?

* * *

><p><em>Cold was all I felt...that was all I knew, as I lay there, breathing hard as the life drained out of me, slowly but surely. I could feel the crimson pooling beneath my feet, soaking my clothes bright red as I struggled to breathe, but my lungs felt like they'd been struck by a tire iron as I coughed up even more blood.<em>

"...Nunnally..." _I wheezed, trying to speak as easily as I normally did, but even that was hard enough in and of itself, but-_

_"Hey!"_

'Huh?'

_The girl with brown hair turned to me, her purple eyes filled with unshed tears. "Why, why did you leave me behind, Onii-chan? Why?"_

_Then her image swims before my eyes as everything I know is spinning, spinning, spinning until there is nothing but black. Then I know nothing more as I-_

"Onii-chan, what's wrong?"

"Huh?"

* * *

><p>Suddenly, my eyes snapped open as I found myself gazing into the eyes of the same three annoying kids who'd been bothering me earlier. They are all looking at me like I'm a madman. Well, that's no surprise, considering I am a terrorist who has killed countless others, all for the sake of revenge-<p>

"Onii-chan, why were you spacing out?" The youngest one asks, leaning out to touch me with her hand. I gasp for a moment, and then try to make myself fit back into reality. Calm down, you're no one but Kudo Shinichi, or am I Kudo Shinichi? Is it possible that I'm no one at all and just a mere person walking around with a false identity attached? Can that really be true?

"N-No reason in particular," I said, as I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand. Geez, what was that earlier? A memory? But what sort of memory would have me lying in a pool of my own blood? That makes no sense. In fact, even ruminating on the subject any longer makes my head spin. "So, what do you brats want from me?"

"Well, you see, we have been watching your various deduction shows, and we're so envious of your great deduction skills that we have decided to be just like you, our idol!" The freckled boy says.

'Uh-huh, and _why _am I supposed to be interested in this again?' I think, sighing.

"What we want to say is-we've started our own detective club called the Shonen Tantei-dan!" The little girl says, as though it is the most exciting thing in the world.

I raisd an eyebrow. "Yeah, good luck with that. I just need to get back to my best friend Ran now, so if you don't mind me-"

But the fat one grabbed my hand. "Don't you dare say no to Ayumi-chan!"

What annoying, intolerable brats. Where are their parents when they need to be disciplined?

"Oi, oi, I have no interest in what you kids do. Just go bother someone else." I say.

"Please...just for a little bit?" The girl begs

"Fine," I sigh. "But only for a little while, all right?"

The kids cheer and I know I'm going to dread this, but inwardly I gather my courage and decide to just bear with it. It's not the worst thing that could happen to me. Except if one of those stupid visions decides to intervene again and...my eyes widen as I take in a store before the four of us.

'Zero' is emblazoned, in big, bold letters across it. That's apparently the name of the store, but it isn't the name that has me intrigued...it's what's inside it. My eyes are drawn to what look like royal artifacts. Why, I wonder? What makes them so enticing, and why does looking at such things make me feel a great and terrible sadness come over me?

"This store looks boring," The fatso huffs, "Let's go elsewhere!"

"Yeah!" The girl cheers and the three of them scurry off somewhere, leaving me alone with my thoughts...and the creepy girl known as Haibara. She watches me, without saying anything.

Somehow, her silence is unnerving. She's like a person who walked out of a horror movie.

"Go ahead and look in there, Kudo Shinichi. You will find what it is you seek there," She says dully.

I turn to face her. "How much do you know about me?"

"A lot," She says with a vague smirk, "Enough to know you'll do anything to find the answers to your problems, even kill, isn't that right?"

I blink. "Sure," I say before shooting a withering look at her as I walk in. This store is enthralling to even look at. I've never been a fan of history or anything, but something about this place just clicks with my soul.

* * *

><p>It just feels...<em>natural<em> to stroll in here. Like I've been welcomed home to a place I haven't been in in a long time. I blink, wondering what was up with my déjà vu, and then that's when I ran into _him._

It was a very familiar man, one I knew too well; Ran's father, looking at me imperiously, while Ran and Sonoko were examining everything in the store.

"So, you're here, too, boy," He said, like he'd like to do nothing more than flay me alive. 'But that's a silly thing to say. He's Ran's father and he's not really that bad, or is he...?'

I feel a strange hatred whirl up inside me and my mind goes blank, as I feel strangely disconnected from reality. "What?" I whisper, too shocked to even say anything.

He smirks. "So, does any of this seem familiar to you at all, boy?"

I nod my head slowly, unsure what to say.

"...So it seems someone as worthless as you can indeed be given a second chance at life, huh? You're still nothing in my eyes..." He whispers cruelly.

"What are you saying?" I ask, in complete and utter shock. Ran's father had always disliked me, true, but I never even _imagined_ his hatred for me was this big. How long had he been hiding it from me, pretending to like me, when he wanted nothing more than to strangle me?

"You ignorant fool. You always have been a fool. That's why you're not touching my daughter," He sneers at me.

I just look at him. "...Ojisan, what...?"

"Don't play dumb with me, boy," He says as he points to a row of royal outfits on the wall. "Surely, you must remember _something,_ you worthless boy."

"Um..." I say, but then Ran thankfully intervenes.

"Otou-sama, take a look at this shirt Sonoko got! Doesn't it look like the kind a princess would wear?" Ran says.

I frown and scratch my head, completely and utterly bewildered by what had just occurred between us a few moments ago. What on earth is wrong with Ran's dad? "Ran...your dad, he..." I open my mouth to say, but that man is looking at me with loathing in his eyes, and it hurts, somehow, to see such hatred.

"Shinichi, what's wrong? Otou-san, don't put down Shinichi. He's been trying hard at detective work, and his cases are going really well."

Kogoro sniffs. "Well, it's not his fault he's worthless. He's been that way since he was born."

"Otou-san, that's an awful thing to say!" Ran cries.

"Ran...what are those on the wall there?" I ask, trying hard to change the subject.

"...Didn't you pay attention? Sonoko-chan said they're antique guns of some sort! They're cool. Wanna see it?" Ran says eagerly, grabbing my arm.

"Ran, you know I don't like weapons," I say.

"Oh, cheer up, Shinichi. What could go wrong?"

In my head, I hear Lelouch chuckle, and it sends chills down my spine.

* * *

><p>I eye the guns on the wall and then...curiosity gets the better of me. I touch one and then, my head feels like it's on fire as a strange pain shoots through it. My eye is throbbing again, too, but my head feels like it's literally going to explode as suddenly, images worm their way into my mind.<p>

"Not again..." I say.

"Shinichi, what's wrong?" Ran asks.

* * *

><p>"Headache..." I said, rubbing my head, and then something red drips into my arms. I eye it before noticing it is blood. I reach up to my head and feel blood dripping down from it. My eyes widen. "Ran...?"<p>

But I can't see Ran anymore. Instead, I am standing in what looks like a cave while someone in the shadows has a gun pointed at me. I look around, utterly bewildered at what's going on here. "...What?"

The shadow says, "Don't play dumb with me, Lelouch. You're Zero, aren't you? Why did you do that to Euphie?"

I pause. "What the hell are you saying? Who the hell is Euphie?"

The shadow laughs. "Now you're going to pretend you don't know who Euphie is. That's classic, Lelouch, classic. This is why I'm going to kill you here and now, for killing Euphie!"

"Wait!" I cry. "I've never killed anyone before in my life! Also, why do you keep calling me Lelouch? That's not my name!"

The boy steps out, his green eyes glittering with malice. "Pathetic. Now you're pretending you don't even know who you are. Wanna know what you are? You're a despicable murderer who stains his hands in other people's blood and claims it's for a righteous cause."

He raises the gun at me and fires, heedless of my protests. The pain...how it burns...wait, a gun...that's so familiar, too...I see myself before a white-haired man as I lie there, flailing on the ground in pain.

"Let me go, dammit! I'm not this Lelouch person...!" I wail, but the boy slams my head down sharply, causing blood to trickle down my face again. Tears fill my eyes.

"My errant son, Lelouch, has returned once more..." He says, and kicks me.

After that, nothing but pain resounds...and then a gunshot rings out.

I find myself holding a gun, covered with blood. A girl falls, and it is my fault.

'That's right...I killed her. I made her kill all those people...' I think.

Then everything comes crashing back down to reality like a meteor hitting the Earth as Ran calls my name.

"You passed out again, Shinichi. Now what happened?" She says gently, though part of her is irritated at her abnormal friend having yet another vision.

"Something I couldn't control or understand," I mumble as I get back to my feet. "I saw myself killing someone."

"Shinichi, these memories are driving you insane, aren't they?" She whispers.

I nod my head, blinking back the tears from my eyes. I had cried? Why?

After that, Ran decides we should never go back to that store again. I agree with her.

* * *

><p>I lie awake that night, trying to figure out what's wrong with me. "Why? Why must I, and I alone, be haunted by these torturous dreams? Can't I get rid of these phantasms and get some sleep?"<p>

The answer to that seems to be _no_.

Darn it.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:Nothing like listening to some good music to kick up the ideas, and indeed they have arisen within me, and it feels like I've been reborn. :D It's such a wonderful feeling. I know writers alone understand how we think and feel, but it's worth it for the happiness we bring to others' lives.**

**Chapter 17 **Reincarnation is possible?

* * *

><p>I was so shaken by the way Ran's father had spoken to me that I barely spoke a word to her on the way back from the mall. Ran had noticed my pale complexion and my silent speech and had decided to keep silent about it. She knew that I didn't wish to talk about it, so she didn't bring it up.<p>

I was very relieved, because after Ran's dad treated me so harshly, I was just unable to think coherently. Why on earth did he treat me so badly and act as if I was nothing in his eyes? I mean, I knew the guy always hated me and was jealous of my detective work, but to think he hated me this much...well, those thoughts were what preoccupied me as I fell asleep, down into the dark, dreary world of my dreams, or nightmares.

So there I was, again cloaked in darkness as the shadows of my future nightmares fell upon me, each taunting me, unseen but their words penetrated my very being, and then finally, I felt something stabbing me. It felt like something was sticking out of me. I looked down, and saw a sword sticking through my chest, which was dripping wet with my blood.

At that point, I lost it and screamed, which woke me up. I looked down at my bed-normal, ordinary bed, no blood, no sword, no bloody chest, no nothing. I was alive like always, so where the hell had the idea come from that I'd been stabbed?

'I wish I knew what was going on,' I thought to myself.

"_Are you sure you wish to know what the answer is?" _ The same ghostly voice from before whispered.

'Shut _up,' _I hissed, not really wishing to argue with the voice in my head right now.

However, it wouldn't stop bothering me. I was not sure what to do now, but I knew full well that things could change, if I tried. I was not going to let my stupid voice in my head get me down and prevent me from trying to live a normal life.

So what could I do about this problem? It wasn't like I could honestly _go _to an ordinary doctor and tell them I heard voices in my head. They would diagnose me as crazy and I'd be thrown in a hospital. God knows how that would end, the famous meitantei being diagnosed as clinically **insane. **

**'**_**You're not insane, for the last time. My consciousness still lives on inside you.'**_

_'Eh, you're speaking impossibly here, there's no way something like that is possible.'_

I shook my head, I was just losing my mind, I knew it, but the more I looked at myself in the mirror every day, the more I was convinced that there was someone else living in my mind, someone else shaping my life, making me act a certain way, and the feeling just sent cold chills up my spine.

'_**Because it's true, you idiot, and if you keep on denying my existence, then I will have no choice but to make you remember everything...before he does.' **_

_'Who? Who or what are you talking about?' _

_**'The man who called you worthless...he is out to hurt you, whether you are aware of it or not.' **_

_'Who? Ran's dad...? Sure, he may hate my guts, but he'd never hurt me. He did hurt me emotionally.' _

**'**_**You fool, you do not realize that he will actually hurt you. I never thought my present self could be so unthinkably stupid.' **_

I blinked for a moment, wondering what was wrong with this picture, then I realized: my conscience should not be talking to me, that was just flat-out crazy! What was wrong with me?

Lelouch chuckled from inside my head. "_**There's nothing wrong with you, it's just that you've been growing to accept my presence, isn't that right?" **_

I frowned and scratched my head. "...So, those things I saw were memories of another life?"

Lelouch sounded relieved. "_**Yes...that's right, Kudo Shinichi. You have finally bothered to accept them. That's a great thing to know." **_

"Not accept, more like deal with," I mumbled, "I mean, everything has an explanation, even the irrational ones, right?"

Lelouch said, "_**You aren't a complete idiot, after all." **_

_'Oi, oi, what would ever give you that impression?' _I thought.

No response came from Lelouch, so I sighed and turned away from my mirror, and instead returned to my bed and slipped under the covers, trying hard to fall asleep and stay in the world of dreams, but instead I kept on waking up, covered in sweat after my nightmares continued.

"Tch, I hope they end soon," I mumbled, thoroughly annoyed with this latest disaster.

_**'Not as long as you keep on denying them, Kudo,' **_Lelouch whispered in my mind.

* * *

><p>The next day, Kaito showed up at my door. "Hey, meitantei-san, I heard you've been having a bad time. Is it true?"<p>

I sighed and fidgeted slightly, staring at anything but him. "Yeah, you heard me right. It's true."

"Well, shall I cheer you up, then, meitantei-san?" Kaito asks, before noticing my cringing face.

Whatever attempts Kaito would make to cheer me up were usually suspect. "How am I not sure you're not going to prank me, Mr. Kaitou KID?"

"Oi, how many times have I told you not to call me that!" Kaito says, looking very abashed, which is unlike him. Something's up. "I...came to talk to you about something serious. Something I've been wanting to tell you for a while."

I look at him in confusion, wondering what's up. "What's this about?"

"Just let me inside and I'll tell you," He says.

I close the door behind him, wondering what he wants to talk about. "So, what's the big deal, Kuroba? Is it about your job as KID?"

"No," He says, surprising me.

"Your magic tricks?"

"No," He says, in a serious tone, that's completely unlike the Kaito I know. What's wrong with him? What on earth could be so bad that he loses all of his humor like this?

"This is something...completely different. I wanted to tell you as soon as I got to know about your dreams, but I was afraid, Kudo. Afraid of what you would think of me. So, as you know, we first met about a few years ago, when you were doing a case...but, when I met you, I felt like we'd known each other before. It was a feeling I couldn't quite explain. Then I had a nightmare...that was terrifying...I couldn't quite escape the feeling that the one tormenting me through that dream was..._you, _meitantei-san. I know it sounds crazy, doesn't it, but then I really believed there was something dark lurking inside you. But now I know, that you would never do such things. That's why I think...we've met before in another life, meitantei-san."

"What are you saying...?" I say, even though deep down, I feel like I know exactly what he means, without even understanding myself.

It's a scary feeling and it seems to be linked to the one who calls himself Lelouch, who lives in my mind. It's because of him that I suffer like this...

'_**So everything bad that happens to you is my fault?' **_

I remain neutral and make sure Kuroba doesn't see me arguing with myself.

"So, you believe this sort of thing...even without proof?" I say, laughing slightly.

He frowns as he comes towards me, which sort of freaks me out. "Meitantei-san, do you have a wound on your chest?"

I pause. "Eh...just a mark...why is that significant?" I say, wondering where he's going with this.

"...Just as I thought. Have you ever wondered if that mark has something to do with how you died before? Do you remember everything yet, meitantei-san? About you, and about me..." He whispers, confusing me.

"Everyone keeps on hinting at this and that, and I don't understand what they mean! Stop hiding things from me and tell me what you mean already, dammit!" I cry, sick of this entire thing. I'm sick of wavering between two identities. I just want to be me, Kudo Shinichi.

How hard is that to ask for?

"Meitantei-san, even I'm unsure of everything. It's only human to be unsure. No one gets more frustrated than you, and I can understand. You have the worst things to remember. You remember that you killed people, don't you?" He asks softly.

Mutely, I nod my head, knowing I am not only talking about a logical, but technical impossibility. "But it makes no sense. I've never killed anyone before!"

"Meitantei-san, you have never killed before, in this life, as the you you know today. But a long time ago, you did indeed shed blood. Both you and I were there, and we know each other from there. I am not lying." Kaito says sharply, and I wonder for a moment, if I am looking at Kaito Kuroba or someone else entirely before I turn away.

"I don't want to believe that...it can't be..." I mumble, my hands shaking.

"Meitantei-san, are you okay?" Kaito asks, but I can't see Kaito...my thoughts are swimming, and so is the world...who is he, really? My mind is not clear again...

"Calm down, you don't want to pass out." Kaito says, and I feel him steadying me. "You all right?"

"I...guess," I mumble, wiping a bead of sweat from my forehead. "That's all I can say for now."

"That's an answer, you know," He says before smiling. "Good. That's more of the Kudo Shinichi I know. Kudo...why don't you tell me about your nightmares?"

"...No..." I whisper.

"I won't tell a soul," Kaito says, "And I won't make fun of you for it. I know how you feel."

_"Look, it's Kudo, the freak who talks in his sleep! What nightmares did you have today, freak?" _

I snap out of painful taunts and horrible memories when he looks at me.

"Really?" I whisper.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:Yo, sorry for the wait. I've just had so many ideas for Game of the Future that I've forgotten about my other stuff. That's okay, I'll definitely continue most of my other fics. Time to update this one and Ghosts from another life-Game of the Future will be updated again today-because it was supposed to be longer than 520 words, but the stupid device I was on screwed up, so I couldn't save my changes. :/ I hate Nooks, I really effing hate them. I can't get any work done on my stories when I'm on it. **

**Chapter 18 Reminiscence**

* * *

><p>I remember when I first started having these visions. From a young age, I would see things that no one else could see, and I would hear things no one else could hear. It was so visible and it felt like I was right there, experiencing everything, and yet everyone I talked to about it called me crazy. But I really experienced those things, they really happened to me. It could happen at any time, at any place. Eventually I just learned that they were a part of me and I just had to accept it. But at the same time, I had to learn that even my own parents would laugh it off as if it were nothing.<p>

I was no ordinary child, I knew. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was just crazy. But I will never forget the first nightmare I had when I woke up screaming and scared the crap out of my parents. My parents were unearthly concerned, like they should be. Of course, I, Shinichi Kudo, the great detective, assured them that nothing was wrong. I was just seven years old, and it wasn't until I was nine that I dreamed about my mother lying dead on the staircase, blood pooling out from under her. When I told her about it, she just dismissed it as a dream. "Son, you shouldn't worry about such things," She said.

But, somehow, I was inclined to not believe her. I just knew, deep down inside, that what I had seen was real, but no one would believe me. So eventually, I just stopped telling people.

I sigh as I sit on my bed, thinking over things like usual. Why is it when I think about these things that my mind has to always go back to that horrifying time when I was younger, when things happened that I couldn't explain, when I couldn't properly explain them to people and kids my age made fun of me? I don't know why, but for some reason, my brain just does that. There's really no explanation for that.

But of course, a logical mind like my own dislikes notions like that. They're impossible to reason with. They make no sense. But impossible things happen all the time. That's just the way of the world, regardless of how hard people try to deny it. That's what some people tell you. But I don't believe it. It's all a lie they told me in a useless attempt to make me feel better, which failed on all levels.

"Shinichi, are you ever going to stop obsessing over these dreams of yours?" Ran says to me in irritation.

"Ran, I can't just ignore these things and pretend they don't happen," I say in annoyance, quite irritated by this new turn of events.

She just looks at me and rolls her eyes, thoroughly annoyed by now with my dreams. I know they're bothering her, but she could at least try to be a little more supportive of me. I mean, seriously...these things bother me 24/7 and all she does is act haughty and mean to me for no good reason? I hate Ran sometimes when she acts like this.

"Ran," I begin, "Listen to me. Sometimes, I don't even feel like I know who I am anymore. But I want you to be by my side. I care about you above all else."

She looks at me and flushes bright red. "Shinichi...do you?"

"As a matter of fact, I've put it off for far too long...but I love you, Ran. Is it all right if I become your boyfriend?" I ask, afraid that she'll blow me off or say no. Knowing her, she's bound to knock me flying into a wall about fifty seconds from now.

Much to my surprise, she doesn't, and instead hugs me, intensifying my blush on my face until it's cherry red. "Shinichi, you don't know how long I've been waiting to hear those words out of your mouth. I'm so glad we can actually admit it to each other. I love you, too."

Hearing those words makes my stomach flop, but she actually feels the same! I know she does! I feel like screaming out loud at the top of my lungs that the girl of my dreams feels the same. How long have I pushed those feelings of mine back where they couldn't be found?

'**Good job, Kudo Shinichi. But you'd better hold on tight to that girlfriend of yours. You wouldn't want something bad happening to her now, would you?' **

_'Shut up. I don't need you interfering with my life anymore, Lelouch. I'm satisified with the life I lead now and I won't let you ruin it.' _

Instantly, I see a mental image of Ran lying dead with blood pouring out from her body, struggling to tell me that she loved me. I blink and shake the feeling off, confused by what that had just been...was I predicting the future, or was that something like looking into a memory?

'**It was something more like a memory, but interpret it as you will,' **Lelouch's voice answers from inside my subconscious, annoying me like always. Nonetheless, I do my best to ignore him. Apparently, I had been spacing out again, much to Ran's annoyance.

"Shi-ni-chi, stop spacing out on me! Geez, when will you stop doing this to me?" She sighs in frustration and I know she's mad at me for something that I can't control.

"Look, if I could honestly get rid of these dreams and this stupid deja vu, you know I would without a second thought, right? But these dreams are...they're part of me, Ran! So you've gotta take me with these stupid dreams!" I scold her. "You think I _like_ being assaulted by my mind everywhere I go? It's absolute torture and madness."

"Shinichi, I wasn't attacking you, now calm down." Ran says reassuringly, putting her hands on my shoulders and looking straight into my eyes. "I'm glad you can tell me how you really feel rather than hide it. There's nothing worse than bottling up your own feelings until they become too hard to control. I know how that feels," She whispers.

"R-Ran?" I ask, deeply worried about her now. Why is she acting so differently for no reason? I don't understand at all what's wrong with her. I don't expect her to smack my hand away.

"It's nothing you need to concern yourself with, Shinichi. Now why don't we go out today and enjoy ourselves?" She says, "Say, don't you remember how we first met? You were the child that everyone loved to tease." She whispers in a low voice, knowing it is a painful memory for both of us.

I nod slowly. "Yes...it was," I say, slowly, remembering the taunts of children as they call me a freak who didn't make any sense. But right now, now's not the time to remember that stuff. For now I am happy, and that's all that matters, right?

Right?


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:Whoa, looks like a whole month has elapsed since I last updated. Well, time to update it. I really would like to see more reviews for this fanfiction. Come on, people...19 freaking chapters...19 CHAPTERS and not even 70 reviews like on Game of the future? I don't understand why DC and CG crossovers aren't more popular. :/ Depression is like this...you know one second you know who you are and the next you're not sure...well, Shinichi's depression is really my depression conveyed through words. Without writing, I'm sure I'd be a little nuts with all these ideas swimming around with nowhere to go...so I'm just going to type out what my muse wants. :D Shinichi often, at times, writes himself. **

**Chapter 19 Numbly going through life**

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><p>A few months have slowly slipped by since I had my last vision or whatever, and I've been so happy I can't remember the last time I felt so good about life. Lately, all those dreams and hallucinations have made me unable to feel happy. But now...now, I finally feel <em>happy. <em>

_I feel like I'm able to be me. _It feels so good for once. No more visions, no more dreams...I feel so upbeat and elated. I know these dreams are still haunting me and that there's no escaping them but I feel so good. I've been solving more murder cases as well and I feel like I can finally escape from the other _side of me. _

'_Who do you think you can escape from so easily, Kudo?' _The same, cold, sinisterly evil voice I know so well says, chuckling darkly. I sigh and look around, nope, I'm all by myself. Not good.

"I'm nuts if I hear voices in my head...this isn't some manga. This is my life. Dammit, what would the news say if they knew? Ace detective, haunted by voice in his head and gets major headaches! I'd be an outcast..." I mumble, inwardly thanking the gods that I was alone and not with Ran, because then she would be concerned when I started talking to myself.

Well, I was sort of..._used _to it. I did live alone, after all, and after a certain amount of time passes, you just sort of talk to yourself as a way of coping with being alone. I, Shinichi Kudo, am not exactly the number one social butterfly (even though the media seems to think I am when it comes to cases, that's another thing entirely.)

Cases are one thing I am good at vocalizing and talking about. Talking to people in society, on the other hand...forget about that. I never was much of a talker anyway, unless it had to do with Sherlock Holmes or my dreams. Usually I was just stuck in my head, reading books. I'm pretty sure that people at my high school think I'm arrogant.

They honestly think I love being on television and adore the accolades from my cheering fans...well, they're wrong. I hate that. I only love the feeling of justice I get when I sentence these criminals for being guilty for murdering others...and then they go to jail and get what they rightly deserve...

'_**What about you, Kudo Shinichi? You're a walking criminal who killed thousands of people and yet here you are walking free and condemning those who are just like you. Remember how you murdered Euphemia, shot her right through the stomach and made her kill all those innocent people?' **_

"_Shut up," _I hiss, clutching my head, "I won't deal with you ruining my life anymore! I'm happy now, I don't need those damned dreams in my life! Go away and leave me alone! Go to hell!"

The voice cackled maniacally.

'**Hell? You're about to see hell, boy, for denying my existence yet again. You just don't learn, do you? I punish you once and I'm lenient and yet you still keep on sinning like this. Must I always make you see things the hard way?' **

* * *

><p>My head burns again and I feel blood drip down, out of my eye...bright red blood...it's real...it has to be...my mind reels as I touch it and see crimson staining my hands...no, crimson is leaking out of my hands...it's like my knuckles have been scratched bare...I see the red crimson oozing out of them lazily as it slowly drips to the floor.<p>

That's right...I did do that. I _did_ hurt others...I have killed other people before...wait, where was I going with my thoughts? I wasn't going to let some hallucination win over me. I shake my head furiously, but the blood still remains, dripping down faster and faster, until my hands are nothing but skin and bone.

I gasp and try to scream but no sound comes out. I turn around and look in the mirror and see a phantom leering at me from behind. He's grabbing me, blood trickling down from his left eye which is a wicked red and his face is sunken in and hollow...his eerie, dead hands grab onto mine and I can feel him leeching the life out of me...

"L-Let go of me!" I cry, feeling myself losing control against this mental demon of mine. Why is it only me who's the freak? Why do I have to suffer from this and no one else?

'**You've said those words before, remember...? How about the time you made your mother cry because she couldn't figure out what was wrong with you...or the time you-'**

The memory flashes across my mind, and then suddenly I am dragged in. I can't move, I can't resist, I can't even say anything, I am just forced to be a spectator in this cruel sport of torturing me mentally. How can he live with this-

'_Now you will be just like me...a specter, doomed to watch as things play out. It certainly is nice living in your mind while you ignore me like the self-centered brat you are...now watch and learn, Kudo Shinichi...watch and learn...' _

"St-" I begin but a hand flies over my mouth.

'**You will not talk. You will simply listen. Stop being a brat. I don't wish to hurt you any more than I have to, but if I have to break your mind and your sanity to make you acknowledge your sins, then I will. Now shut up and listen.' **

His voice...his words, they're so hypnotic...it's like he's trying to control my mind or something, but that's impossible. Then again, isn't what's happening right now just that?

_**Why, Okaasan? Why do the other kids make fun of me? All I do is tell them about my dreams and then they laugh at me! Why am I a freak? I just want to be normal...**_

_**My mother looks at me and then tears come out of her eyes. "I don't know, Shin-chan. I truly don't know why you're acting like this. I wish I knew. Your classmates will evidently understand one day, Shin-chan. Give it time...everything will be fine."**_

_**Everything will be okay. I always heard that from my parents every time I told them something went wrong. Eventually, **__**I stopped believing in that word. **__**I knew what it meant; it meant I was a useless failure who couldn't even trust his own mind. **_

_**What wonders that does to a child's sanity...and it's not like my classmates helped me deal with the situation any...oh, they did...in their own sick, twisted way...**_

_**"...Hey, look, it's the freak who sees things that aren't there! Hey, freak! Look at me when I'm talking to you!"**_

_**"...His skin is too pale for a Japanese! Do you think he's an alien from outer space? Why does he never want to talk to us? He's such a useless, arrogant brat!" **_

_**"...You'll just have to accept your inner demons. We'll help you with that!" **_

_**They would always say that just before they hit me or tripped me or stole my things. The teachers never did a thing to stop it. Ran and I met under these circumstances and fortunately, she felt bad for me and intervened. She was like an angel from heaven...as corny as that sounds, that's how she felt to me at the time. **_

_**I never understood why as a child, things would happen to me that my parents couldn't explain. If my parents couldn't explain it, such things couldn't exist, right? Right? So as a child, I had an unusually perceptive mind and was able to see right through the lies my parents fed me. **_

_**Oh, it was all for my own good. I know that. What kind of parent tells their child outright that seeing things that aren't there means you're a freak who should be locked up and never see daylight again? Adults don't do that outright...but children certainly have no problem with being as cruel as bluntly as possible...regardless of whether or not it hurts you...**_

_**I remember crying because I felt so alone and no one but Ran would help me out. I felt like I was insane, talking about another life where I was someone else and yet here I was, existing as Kudo Shinichi. Kaasan called it an imaginary friend, but it stopped being imaginary to her when I was seven and would still talk of these things...normal children don't act like that.**_

_**But I suppose I was never meant to be normal, anyway...one such as me can never live a normal life. I'm cursed that way. Cursed, cursed, cursed, cursed, cursed...**_

_**Today I woke up covered in blood but my parents couldn't see it. The doctors think I might be schizophrenic, but what kind of message is that for a future detective? It's devastating. **_

_**All the same, I understood nothing of what was happening to me, at least mentally. I know full well that I might be insane-but Okaasan and Tousan tell me I'm not...so I'm not, right?**_

_**What is all this? I see the blood...two friends pointing guns at each other and one shoots the other, and a girl dies in a pool of blood before I can help save her...it's all my fault all this happened...it's all my fault and I can't do anything...I can't do anything at all! **_

_**I don't believe it...why is there blood on my hands? I don't know...I don't know myself...anymore...**_

_**'Shinichi!' **_

_**'What? Is that...Ran?'**_

_**'Shini-chi!'**_

_**'Huh?'**_

_**'SHINICHI!'**_

* * *

><p>"What?" I cry, shooting up on my bed. Ran is right there beside me, looking at me with worried eyes.<p>

"Ran...you didn't...did you?" I say, nervously...surely she didn't see me with blood all over myself. She didn't...did she? Did she, did she, did she, did she-

"Shinichi...you wouldn't answer your phone, so I had to come over and see whether or not you were okay and you nearly passed out but you were talking to yourself again and-"

"Ran, calm down. I'm just fine," I say reassuringly, giving her my best smile. "Now, where do you want to go for our date?"

"Stupid Shinichi, making me worry like this!" She says. I sigh.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:Finally, some ideas for this! I love writing this fanfic. Especially since I know how it feels to be depressed like this. I just incorporate all of my inner darkness into my fiction.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 20 The confusion of past and present<strong>

Nothing feels real anymore. I don't know how else to put it, other than the fact that I feel like my sanity is slipping, day by day, night by night, as long as these terrible visions keep on haunting me. I don't know where I am anymore, I don't know who I am anymore, someone help me, please.

Am I really Shinichi Kudo, or someone or something else entirely? When I look in the mirror, I don't see a teenage detective, sometimes, I see a rotting, decaying corpse wearing bloodied white robes extending a skeletal hand out to me, his eye bleeding bright red; other times I see a man in a mask.

I don't know what to think anymore, I don't even know how to think anymore, any time I think I know what to do at cases, my mind slips entirely, and I feel as though I am the only one drifting in an endless abyss of horror, one from my own mind-or from another source entirely? I don't know, I don't know anymore, I don't know, I don't know, I don't-

"Shinichi?"

Oh...reality drifts back into focus as I see Ran standing before me, looking at me with worried eyes, but she seems very irritated as well. Yep, nothing like having a schizo best friend. It's enough to drive anyone crazy. Well, I don't go out with her as many times as I used to. I'd much rather be alone than drive everyone else crazy with these bizarre and terrifying-

"Shinichi, snap out of it!"

I turn to look at my friend, Ran. She is my friend, right? _Right? Right...? _

"Shinichi, what's wrong with you today? You've been spacing out again. You're really starting to worry me, you know, what with all these recent nightmares. Are you losing your mind?"

I smile, nervously. But these smiles don't feel real. They're only artificial, as artificial as everything else and everyone else. Wait, when did I, the great high school detective, start thinking so...so...irrationally? This isn't like me. Not at all. "I-I'm fine, Ran."

She doesn't buy it and I know it, from the way she stares me up and down before shaking me. "What's wrong with you lately, Shinichi? You know full well you can trust me, right? I'll always be by your side-"

Suddenly, Ran is lying dead, in a pool of her own blood, smiling nervously and assuring me everything will be okay if I live on, that she has to die, it's best for the both of us, it's best for the both of us...

"Shinichi, calm down," Ran reassures me, looking at me in a way that indicates she feels bad for me...why does she feel bad for me? Why? Oh, she's not dead, she's still alive. What was I thinking? Ha ha, I guess maybe what I thought I saw was nothing but an illusion. I knew I was crazy.

Ran looks like she's very worried about me. Why? Why is she so worried about someone as insignificant and worthless as me?

"...Shinichi, we're at my house now." Ran says to me. It is a rainy day outside, and the rain falls on our umbrellas. For some reason, the rain has always bothered me. I don't know why or how, but I can't quite place it. It's then that I notice something odd about the drops hitting my umbrella...they look darker than normal raindrops...they're oddly colored, like red...like blood.

I look around in horror...sure enough, there's blood raining down from the sky, landing all over me. What the hell is happening to me? Okay, so maybe these visions from another 'life' are true? What does that make me, who has to suffer these afflictions and make everyone else think I'm insane? I don't want to be seen as insane. I feel perfectly sane today.

'Come on, Shinichi, compose yourself. This is no way to act in front of Ran. She's my girlfriend now. Surely I should just be happy and think only of happy things.'

'_Say, don't you ever wonder why murders happen everywhere you go?' _I know this voice. I ignore it and steel myself, waiting for the man I hate more than anything in this world to answer the door.

There he is, Ran's father, looking boozy and half-comatose like always. But that can't be right. Before, he was so stern and sharp-looking, like an eagle, like the eye of a god looking down at the worthless humans he has created, judging their every movement. Why does he look this way now?

"Shinichi, say hello. It doesn't hurt to be polite," Ran says, shooting a reproachful stare my way.

Sighing, I speak, allowing the words to come out of my mouth, "Hello," I say sarcastically.

He notices and his eyebrow rises, ever so slightly. How could I have ever thought-this man was stupid? He is the exact opposite-he is an intelligent predator sizing me up, waiting for the right moment to strike.

"...Hello there, boy. Still stealing my cases, aren't you?" He says, "Say, I haven't seen you around in a while. You still being a bad influence on my daughter?"

What is he saying? I saw him at the store! Why is he lying? "...That's not true. I saw you at the store that day, with all those weapons! And you told me I was worthless and didn't deserve to exist!"

Ran stares from me to him, her gaze wide, unbelieving. Will she believe me? I don't know. "Otousan...is this true?" She speaks. "I knew you hated Shinichi, but to think your hatred of him extends this far..."

"The boy is just lying, like he usually does. You know how he acts. He pretends to be a detective. I was never there, Ran." His gaze comes to rest on her, and suddenly a dazed look enters her eyes.

"...Shinichi, what the hell are you saying? You must be crazy. I never was there that day! You must have been hallucinating!" She says, though something is definitely..._wrong with her. What is happening here? _

"H-Haibara can prove it! Haibara also said things-she said she thought I was a terrible person as well!"

"I don't remember saying such things," A cold voice says from behind me, which causes me to leap backwards. Haibara is standing right there-how the _hell _did she get there so fast-aren't little kids supposed to be really awkward on their feet?

She smirks at me and then _smiles_-with the most fake smile on her face. "...I'm sorry, but I think Kudo-kun is a bit crazy. He says weird things to me, and he even told me I was a stupid person!" She starts crying.

Surely this can't be happening, right? Ran wouldn't really believe this freaky little kid over me, would she? Would she?

She runs to her side, comforting her and telling her everything will be all right, and then she _glares at me. _Ran glares at me. Suddenly she is dead, blood is sprayed everywhere. Flinching, I reach over and touch the blood that now coats my hands, it drips onto the floor. But Ran doesn't seem to notice; of course she can't notice, she's dead.

"Shinichi, you look at me! What's wrong with you? Why would you mistreat this poor, innocent little girl? I never knew your hatred of children extended this far!" Such hateful, venomous words coming from RAN, of all people? This can't be.

"No..." I mumble, "No, this can't be. You're...you're not real. Ran, you can't possibly hate me, right?"

Kogoro chuckles. "Good work, Ran." He says before holding her in his arms-she still looks dazed and smirks darkly at me. "Well, worthless boy? Do you have anything to say to me, or what?"

A bang goes off and Kogoro, too, is dead. He's...he's...really...dead...and the blood...the drops of blood...they're all over me. On my hands, on my shirt, on my head, everywhere I look, I see nothing but red. Something is streaking down my cheek. Is it tears, or...? Curiously, I reach out with a finger and touch it.

I'm crying. Why? Why am I crying?

Ran looks at me in scorn. "Just leave, Shinichi! Someone like you isn't wanted here, you're a total psychotic nutcase!"

"Ran, that's not true! Ran, what's wrong with you? Snap out of it!" I cry, shaking her shoulders. But I still can't get that eerie, dazed look out of her eyes, and then she slaps me. Ran, my best friend slaps me and glares at me.

"I hate you, Shinichi. Why can't you just disappear? Just leave, none of us want you here!"

The blood is getting thicker and thicker. There's blood pooling around my feet, but somehow they don't notice all the blood that's covering them. It's then that I realize, with a horrifying cry, that I suddenly know what's wrong. They're all dead. I saw them _die _before.

"I told you, Ran, he is just a psycho. Let's you and me go inside and relax, have a little father-to-daughter talk, right?"

"Ojiisan, wait!" I cry, but he slugs me so hard in the face that I think my nose is now bleeding.

"Don't you call me that again. Don't you _ever _come near Ran again, you hear me, you little scoundrel? Oh, and how do you like the blood? Only you and I can see it-no one else can. No one will believe you, 'detective.'"

Then, I do the stupidest thing imaginable-I try to go over to Ran, to help her, but I accidentally touch her skirt and then she starts to cry and kicks me out, into the rain, without an umbrella.

* * *

><p>I look around, and notice the vilest look on Kogoro's face as he slams the door shut in my face. The rain falls, quietly and silently, like it's judging my every action. "So what?" I cry. "It's not like it was my fault he did that! He's just an asshole! I wish he was dead! All he does is abuse Ran! Why can't he just die?"<p>

My screams are unheard, unnoticed by anyone. I am all alone, in the ever thickening pool of blood. Am I losing my mind or is the whole world the one who has gone mad? Suddenly, I feel that person near me...the mysterious boy with black hair.

'_Relax. Everything will be fine. Don't let him get you down. He's just an egotistical man who thinks the entire world has to play his twisted games.' _

_I'm..._I'm talking to myself, and the entire world is covered in red...even the rain, which falls around me...is blood-red...I blink and rub my eyes to ensure I'm not hallucinating. My shirt is bleeding...my chest is flowing red with blood, from a stab wound.

"What the hell?" I say. I am losing it, I have to be. There's no other explanation. I run over to Hakase's-surely he'll believe me and take my side. He has to.

* * *

><p>"...Hakase, hakase, open up!" I cry, banging on his door. Instantly he opens it and behind him is Haibara, who's already in her pajamas-wait, what? When did she do that? She was there as well.<p>

"Haibara, tell them about Kogoro and what he's done to Ran!"

Haibara blinks in boredom at me. "He's just fantasizing. I think Kudo-kun needs some tests done on him. He seems insane to me."

Hakase sits me down and listens to me. Finally he speaks, "Shinichi-kun, is it possible...that...fame has gone to your head and you're being just a bit paranoid now? I mean, you hate Ran-kun's dad, but to say he tried to kill you and kicked you out of his house...that's exaggeration if I've ever heard it."

"E-E-Exaggeration? Why? Why doesn't anyone believe me?" I cry out loud. There's the skeleton again. Hakase is a skeleton, a walking corpse. He's been nailed to the wall, his arms and legs lacerated by a sharp implement. Yet here he is, talking to me.

Then he's back to normal.

'_Kudo, relax. Your Geass is just messing with your mind and making you see the future...'_

'_Geass, what in the world is a Geass?' _

But I don't get a reply in time, because Hakase says, "Maybe you should be put on some medication, Shinichi-kun. Or perhaps your parents should be called. Maybe living alone has done something to your sanity."

"I'm not insane, I swear! Hakase, you don't seriously think this, do you?" I cry. He's silent. "Do you?" I cry again.

"Ugh, Kudo-kun is such a melodramatist. I think he's nuts."

"Shinichi-kun, calm down. Let's discuss this rationally now. You just need some medicine and a good rest."

They're all dead. They're all dead. I saw them die. Hell, I even killed some of them. So why are they still alive? Hakase advances on me.

"No, sorry, Hakase! I think I'm going home!" I cry.

"No, Shinichi-kun, you must stay here, and take some medicine. You're not well."

Terrified, I flee out the door, but the rain is not red anymore, instead it's normal rain. However, the blood on my clothes is still there. I'm soaked to the bone and starting to feel a bit sick. Why won't anyone believe me? Worse, why were they all dead? This is like being in some long, terrifying nightmare.

"Kudo, what the hell?"

It is Kaito, looking at me from under an umbrella.

"Why are you covered in blood? Did someone hurt you? What are you doing, standing out here like this? You're going to catch a cold! Let's take you inside."

Thank god, Kaito is here. He's the only one who I think I can trust now. I think...

"Kaito, you won't believe what happened to me..."

So I tell him all about everything that's happened to me. He blinks, and then he sighs.

"What I'm going to say might sound unbelievable, but you want to know why you see so many murder cases? It's not just because you're a detective, it's because death is attracted to those who committed heinous acts in their past life. So you could say death surrounds you and your hands are coated in blood, even if you don't see it. Also, the pain in your eye is called the Geass. Yours is the ability to see how and when people will die. Or you see the true nature of things. You see people as they really are."

"Why? Why me?"

"I have it as well, Shinichi. You've got to stop denying these things and accept it. You've got to control the power."

This feels like some bad dream. A really, really bad one.


	21. Chapter 21 Restored Memories

**A/N:I can really, really fucking sympathize with Shinichi Kudo right now, so I'm gonna go ahead and write up my fucking feelings. Right now, they're pretty damned dark, considering I just got my dreams spat on in my face, and something's looming over me and any time I say something, I'm considered crazy or in the wrong. So here goes nothing. I apologize for the delay in updating, I just haven't been this depressed in a long time to write this up. **

**Chapter 20 Cold and Lost in Desperation (betrayal's cold hand) **

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><p>I stared at Kaito for a few moments as he led me into his house, all without explaining a damned thing, and then he led me into his dining room, where he allowed me to sit down on a chair, which I pulled out with a loud clang and slammed myself down into, not even bothering to apologize for it, like my parents raised me to do. I was in no mood for those games.<p>

My gaze went from my hands, which weren't covered in blood, thank god, but perfectly normal, to Kaito, who was looking nervous and anxious at my stare. It was as though he was afraid of me, thinking that I was some kind of freaking monster who was going to eat him. But I wasn't like that at all! Why was this happening to me?

I missed the days when I could just be a normal, ordinary kid who played with Ran every day, without nearly fainting every day, without mixing up reality with delusions, without my eye bleeding, without everyone thinking I was crazy, and without people trying to diagnose me with problems that didn't freaking exist. Screw this detective shit. If this was what was going to come of it, then I was ready to throw it away.

"...Tell me what the _fuck's _going on, Kaito." I snapped, in an icy tone. He didn't answer, his gaze still going around the room. It was as though he was afraid to even acknowledge my presence or talk to me. I was sick of this. Sick of people acting as though they knew something I didn't, sick of people lying to me, walking on eggshells around me, and all that.

I thought over what he had told me briefly, the whole thing about my eye being some kind of supernatural power made no goddamned sense and defied reason and logic. Why the hell was I supposed to believe in supernatural crap as an answer? As a detective, I was not a believer in irrational things, like aliens, reincarnation, crop circles, psychics, or ghosts.

I never believed in those things. They didn't exist. Anyone who said they did was either joking, crazy, idiotic, or psychotic. Science had all the answers for people. I didn't need to believe in supernatural bullshit to actually know that this guy was lying to me about something. But what?

"...I told you already, meitantei-san. Your eye has a power called Geass and you just can't control it well yet. That's all. I knew you were going to react this way, I just knew, but I couldn't tell you!"

I bit my lip so hard that it started to bleed a little, but I didn't care. I couldn't bring myself to honestly care about anything anymore. What was the point of doing this if everyone was going to lie to me about everything? I hated liars and lying. But what if my entire life was built upon liars? What would I do then? My whole damned reality was falling apart before my eyes and the only thing I could do was demand answers out of people like a prince.

A prince? Where the hell did I get that idea from? For some strange reason, it kinda suited me. No, no need to think of such irrational things at all! I just need to be me! I shook those thoughts off and glared at him before I spoke again, my voice a harsh whisper.

"Then...why, why didn't you tell me this stuff before? Before all this nonsense with Ran's dad, Ran and Hakase came up? You know, before they thought I was suffering from psychosis and decided to turn their backs on me! That would have been really nice, you know! But no, everyone keeps on deciding since I'm Shinichi Kudo, the detective, that I'm too nice to be burdened with this stuff, and hide things from me! Well, I'm sick of this shit! I want the full truth. And don't even try to do stuff like reincarnation, because it isn't real!" I screamed, feeling my fists tighten so hard they turned white from sweat.

"...Meitantei-san, no,_ Shinichi, y_ou've gotta pull yourself together. You're losing your mind at this point. You've gotta stop letting this get you down. What happened to the confident, brave detective I knew who met me at my heists and provided such a good challenge?" Kaito whispered, wandering around the room, his hands in his pockets, as he pulled out magic trick after magic trick, in a vain attempt to entertain me. It didn't work. I wasn't in the mood for childish games. I wanted the goddamn truth and the truth I was going to get!

"...He's gone. He left the second he found out everyone was lying to him and were telling him half-truths! How many of you have been lying to me, making me out to be a mental case? I want to know why you did this! Why?" I cried, slamming my fists on the table. I'd never felt so much rage before in my life. It felt murderous, almost. Suddenly I almost understood why the people I arrested for murder had done it. It felt so easy, almost, to take another's life in my own hands, and end it, like pointing a bullet at their heads, and pulling the trigger-

I shook my head, ending that thought's life as soon as it began, and sighed. "Never mind that! So you believe I'm some reincarnation of some person?" I said skeptically.

"Yes, and you and I were brothers...though not really, more like adopted brothers. My name then was Rolo. And yours was Lelouch. Lelouch Lamperouge. I don't know _how much _you know or how much you deduced yourself, but that much is true."

"Lelouch?" I said, looking at him with wide eyes. "That's the guy who talks to me in my head."

He burst out laughing. "That's not exactly the kind of thing to confess to so openly, you know. But I'm glad you know a little bit, at least, of what I'm talking about. It makes things a little bit easier for me."

"Easier? Why's that?" I asked, as he sat, staring at me with sad eyes. Never before had I seen Kaito look so sad and depressed.

"Well, here I was afraid you were gonna think I was nuts and have me arrested. You're different from how you were in your past life, that's for sure. You killed without a second thought in your past life. Yes, you did. I'm glad you don't remember, but maybe it's best if you remember everything now. And that's why I've brought someone who can help you with that." He pointed to a green-haired girl, who was sitting there, looking at me in boredom. I knew her. But how? We'd never even met before.

"How can this cosplayer or escaped mental patient help me, Kaito? Have you lost your mind as well as your common sense?" I said. The green-haired girl laughed a little, but it dissipated as she walked over to me, extending a hand out to meet my hand.

* * *

><p>"The name is C.C. But it's a pleasure to meet you again, even if you don't remember our contract or our relationship. Your name is Shinichi Kudo, isn't it?"<p>

I nodded my head. "Yeah, that's right," I said tersely. "And what would you do, exactly, to help me out? Fix my eye?"

"I could do that," She said, "You see, I made the contract with you in a previous life that gave you that Geass, though it seems its power has modified over your new life. No longer can you command people what to do, it seems as though you can determine when they will die. You're certainly different from how I remember you as. But let's see how you will fare when all your memories come back to you."

She came closer to me, and pushed her green hair asideto show me a strange v-shaped mark on her forehead. What was that? What did that mean?

Then she put her lips around mine and kissed me, and suddenly a flow of strange...memories filled my head, not mine and yet mine. They were of people I didn't know and places I'd never been, but what did they all mean?

I saw a dark-haired boy with purple eyes putting on a mask and giving a speech before a large mass of people, making grand gestures with a sweep of his arms, I saw the same boy meeting with a girl in a wheelchair and holding her hand, then a girl with red hair kissing the same boy who was wearing a fancy, ornate white outfit, who looked quite sad, then shooting down a girl with long, pink hair who was covered in blood, then an orange-haired girl bleeding to death and the same boy begging her to live and her dying.

Finally, I saw the same boy being run through with a sword by the masked man, him whispering words to the other, like 'live on' or something, and then him dying by the man's hand and the brown-haired girl holding his hand, begging him not to go. I saw the green-haired girl with golden eyes telling the boy her true name, reverting to being a slave and their promise together. I saw all of this as I went through these strange memories, trying to connect what I knew about myself with this 'Lelouch' person.

Suddenly, things started making more sense. My constant deja vu, my eye bleeding, my sensitivity to blood and murder, my aversion of Ran's dad, my desire to protect Ran so much, and my creeped out feelings towards meeting Haibara...they were all tied to my past life. My eye bleeding...was from this 'Geass' thing that was in Lelouch's-no, my eye-my sensitivity to blood was because I had killed a lot in my past life as Zero.

"I see," I muttered, getting back up, feeling confused but also relieved. "Here I thought I was losing my mind, but in reality, I was reincarnated without my memories of this past life and that was why I was so confused?" I said, slowly, trying to process these irrational memories with my logical detective mind.

She looked at me, C.C., my former contractor, I mean, eying me up and down, carefully, as though I would disappear if she closed her eyes. Finally, she spoke, calmly, but softly at the same time, as though she were trying to reassure me somehow about all of this.

"Lelouch," She began, but paused, correcting her mistake, "I mean, Kudo Shinichi, do you now understand what has been happening to you has been a result of-"

I cut her off mid-sentence, smiling assuredly. "Uh, reincarnation and bad luck, I guess? I...don't understand everything, completely, nor can I ever hope to, as I'm not the person you knew as Lelouch anymore. Nor can I hope to be. I'm Kudo Shinichi, a detective, but I suppose I understand more now, our relationship, who these people called Kallen, Shirley, Nunnally, and Euphie are. Though, still, things don't make sense. So, Ran is Shirley, Haibara is Euphie...then who is Kuroba supposed to be?" I said.

"It's obvious, he's your brother, former brother. What do you want to do?" She asked, sitting down by me. It still creeped me out, her behavior towards me. I mean, I didn't necessarily know her in the same sense that Lelouch had, so I wasn't gonna be too friendly.

"...I dunno. Maybe I can show that bastard Kogoro-wait, uh, that guy is my dad from another life?"

Upon seeing C.C nod, I smack my forehead.

"Great. That's what I wanted to hear."


End file.
